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maddie

Today when I opened my mailbox there was a package from Cafe Press. I have been anxiously awaiting this package since I placed my order with them last week. You see, this package contained two very special t-shirts.   The t-shirts Maya and I will wear on April 24th when we proudly walk along side the other members of the March for Maddie St. Louis team. We will walk for Maddie. We will walk with all the other family and friends of Maddie who will be walking all over the country that same day.

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When I showed Maya her t-shirt she said “Oh, cute shirt!”

The March of Dimes is an amazing organization and walk for Maddie and raising money in her name for such an amazing cause means a lot to me. Please consider making a donation to the March of Dimes by sponsoring me in this walk. You can just click on the badge above and it will take you to my March for Babies profile, you can make your donation there. Every little bit helps.

Last year, in the midst of the sadness of Maddie Spohr’s passing something magical happened.  All over the country people asked what they could do to help.  What they could do to support the Spohrs and to support the families of other preemies and the joined March of Dimes walks in their local community to walk in the name of this little girl who had in some way touched their hearts.

I was one of those people.  Although I had already been planning on trying to walk last year before Maddie passed, I hadn’t really done much to figure out how I was going to go about doing so.  After learning of Maddie’s passing I knew without a doubt that I had to walk.  It was something I could do to show my support to Heather and Mike from here.  It was something I could do to honor Maddie.  So I joined the St. Louis March for Maddie team and walked along side other people who had been touched by Maddie and thousands of others who had in some way been touched prematurity.  The experience was very profound and I knew as I left the walk that day that I would be back every year, to walk for Maddie and to walk for all those people in my life who have been touched by prematurity.

Marching for Maddie

So, about a month ago I set up March for Maddie St. Louis.  I will be walking again this year in love and remembrance of the amazing Miss Maddie.  I will be walking in support of Heather and Mike Spohr.  I will be walking for all those in my life who have been touched by prematurity.  I will be walking in hopes that one day no one has to know the grief of losing a child because they were born to soon.  I will be walking to give every baby the fighting chance they deserve.

If you are in the St. Louis area and would like to join our team please go here and sign up, we would love to have as many people walking for Maddie as we can get.  We would also appreciate your support.  Please consider making a donation, all money raised goes to the March of Dimes and helps in their efforts on behalf of pregnant moms and babies everywhere.   To donate to our team please click on the banner above.

I mentioned the other day that each ornament that adorns my Christmas tree has special meaning.  Some remind me of special moments, some of special places and others of special people.  I like that I can glance at an ornament on my tree and be reminded of something or someone special or meaningful to me.  My ornaments are very sentimental and I cherish each one.

Most of the ornaments on my tree have been given to me, most by my Mum, some by other special people in my life.  A few I have purchased myself as gifts for Lorne and Maya.  A few we purchased together because they meant something to us like reminding us of a place we love to go or something special in our lives.  I’m often on the look out during the holiday season for the perfect ornament.  Sometimes the perfect ornament just happens to catch my eye when I’m not even looking for one.  That is what happened today.

Maya and I were at one of our favorite stores today picking up a few necessities and a couple of Christmas gifts.  We were wandering through the Christmas department because just loves to check out the Christmas trees and lights.  I was standing there while Maya admired one of the trees when something sparkly and purple caught my eye.  There, hanging on the wall was this sparkly, purple snowflake.  I smiled and said out loud, that’s Maddie.  That snowflake, that sparkly purple snowflake instantly reminded me of Madeline Spohr.

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I knew I had to buy one.  I knew my tree wouldn’t be complete without one.  So, I bought one and brought it home and placed it on my tree.

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Now when I look at my tree I see this beautiful, sparkly, purple snowflake and think of one little girl who had more inspiration in her, more strength, more love, more passion than any one I know.  I’ll remember Maddie, and think of Heather and Mike, every time I look at that snowflake.  And each year when we put up our Christmas tree and place that snowflake on the tree with all the other special ornaments we’ll remember a special little girl named Maddie.

Happy Birthday Miss Maddie.

Happy birthday maddie

You would have been two years old today.  I can’t believe you aren’t here to celebrate.  It breaks my heart that your mom and dad won’t be able to shower you with love, hugs, presents and cream puffs today.   It breaks my heart that you won’t get to blow out your candles.  It breaks my heart that your mom and dad have to struggle though this day without you.  But today is your birthday and should be about celebration.  So, today I’m wearing purple to honor you and to show my support to your mom and dad.  And today I’ll be telling everyone I meet about you so they too can know how amazing you were and can celebrate you.

Though it is hard not to focus on the crappy things about this day I’m trying to think about good things too.  Trying to imagine what you would be like now as a bubbly little toddler.  I’m trying to imagine the things you would be up to nowadays.  You’d be talking up a storm I’m sure, wowing everyone with your witty humor and infectious giggles.  You’d be dancing and singing every chance you got.  You’d be cuddling with everyone.  You’d be getting all excited about the arrival of your new little sister (probably kissing your mommy’s tummy every chance you got).  Every time I read the stories on your mom’s blog I would always think to myself how much like my own daughter you were.  You would often do the same silly things, seemed to love a lot of the same things.  So, as I watch her grew up I can easily imagine what you would have been like too.  I wish you two had had the opportunity to meet, you would have loved playing together.

I know you are up there somewhere giggling and smiling and being showered with the love, hugs, kisses and birthday wishes we are all sending you’re way today.  I want you to know that there are a lot of people down here doing our best to support your mom and dad through this really crappy, really tough time.  We will stand behind them, support them and love them for you.

So, happy birthday Maddie, I hope you are having one heck of a party up there in heaven.  We miss you, we love you, we wish you were here.

Photo lovingly borrowed from The Spohr’s Flickr Album.

Maddie

Miss Maddie was a light in this world (just look at those eyes!).  A happy, delightful, bright light.  It has been 6 months since Maddie passed away, 6 months.  It is hard to believe.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think of Miss Maddie.  She touched my heart just as she touched the hearts of many.

My heart is with Heather and Mike Spohr today, and everyday.  The road they walk today is so different than the one they were walking just 6 months ago.  Through their struggles, through their endless ups and downs we are all here to hold them up.

Miss Maddie, you were one amazing little girl and  you are missed today and everyday.  Let your light shine on in the hearts and minds of those who knew and loved you.

Photo lovingly borrowed by Heather and Mike’s Flickr Album