Elizabeth Pantley is a mother, wife, author and parent educator.  She and her husband are raising their four children in Washington.  Elizabeth has authored 8 parenting books with the 9th due to be released early next year.  Her approach is one of gentle parenting.  She has created and written about "No-Cry" solutions for everything from sleep to potty training to discipline.  For more about Elizabeth Pantley visit her website, www.pantley.com/elizabeth.

Elizabeth Pantley was kind enough to grant us here at Let's Talk Babies an interview.  For those of you who are struggling with sleep problems with your little ones hopefully Ms. Pantley's answers will provide a little help. 

How many books have you written?

My 9th parenting book will be released in February!

What inspired you come up with the “No-Cry” solutions?

My fourth baby was not a good sleeper, yet I was never able to let any of my babies cry themselves to sleep. I think children deserve to have their feelings respected, and crying tells parents that something is wrong. While I was struggling with my little Coleton’s frequent night waking and lack of naps I was determined not to let him cry – yet I knew there must be a way to help him sleep without that. So “The No-Cry Sleep Solution” was created! I worked with a group of 60 other mothers who were all in my boat – they tried out my ideas and we all achieved much better sleep – with no crying!
Read more about this here:  http://www.pantley.com/elizabeth/books/0071381392.php?nid=386&isbn=0071381392 

What do you think makes the “No-Cry” solutions work?

No parent wants to make their child cry – and many are willing to learn new ideas to help teach their children sleep better. The ideas are not complicated, and they work, and every improvement in sleep is celebrated!

What is different about the “no-cry” sleep solution other than the obvious, haha?

Prior to this book there were basically two options when your baby didn’t sleep well:  live with it or have your baby cry it out. The No-Cry Sleep Solution is the third option – how to help your baby sleep – so you can sleep, too – but achieving this in a gentle, respectful way that enhances your relationship with your child.
The book provides logs and charts to help you identify your baby’s sleep issues and a format for making a personalized plan from the hundreds of ideas that are offered in the book. Since babies are unique, and so are parents, there is no one-size-fits-all solution, but there are common solutions that can be put together for a custom sleep plan for your baby.

Do you think “no-cry” sleep solutions work for every child and parent? If not, what type of parent/child does it seem to work best for?

I’ve found that No-Cry solutions work for almost all parents who want them to work. Gentle ideas can take more effort and finesse than putting your baby in the crib and letting him cry to sleep, but parents who are looking for that scenario are usually effective in bringing about good results.

What question do you get most often from parents?

Many parents write when they first get the book with lots of questions that are actually answered in the book – I’ve found that sleep deprived parents get desperate and wish for quick answers. But, just like anything else in parenting, and actually, anything in life worth having, takes thought and time.

The most common problems are night-waking, all-night nursing, non-napping and babies who can’t sleep alone

What piece of advice do you find yourself giving most often?

Trust yourself. You know your baby more than anyone – including me! Research, read and learn but stop listening to everyone else’s opinions and advice about what exactly you should do and listen to your baby and your heart.

If a parent is having sleep problems with their little one and they don’t want to try the cry-it-out methods what would you recommend?

Start by analyzing your baby’s sleep patterns and habits. I have logs on my website for this (www.pantley.com/elizabeth). Once you have a clear picture of how your baby is sleeping now, then you can make a plan for changes. Try a few ideas that make sense for you and stick with them for a couple of weeks. Don’t expect one day changes!

If a parent opts to try the “no-cry” sleep solution what can they expect?

First, you’ll realize that you and your baby are more normal than you thought! Most sleep problems are common to almost all babies. Then you’ll understand that it takes a deep breath and a thoughtful plan to make changes happen. But when you hit on the right solutions and your baby starts sleeping better you’ll feel proud of the way you handled your baby’s sleep issues, and you’ll feel that you’ve protected and cherished your relationship by using no-cry gentle methods.

What is the best piece of parenting advice you ever received?

Relax more and stress less….Oh, my! The millions of little things I’ve stressed about over the past twenty years raising my four children! Messy rooms, dirty faces, lost toys, peas not eaten. Not a single one of these things means a gosh darn thing today. Those insignificant, trivial details certainly make up a large part of life, but when they cause a disproportionate amount of angst they conceal the many little joys that children bring into our lives. View the little things for what they are – little things – and don’t let them get the way of taking pleasure out of every single day of family life. This goes for sleep issues, too. While you are in the midst of them they seem huge and overwhelming, but in the big picture of life this stage is very short and fleeting.

Thanks again to Elizabeth Pantley for taking the time to grant us this interview. 





 

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