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With Maya’s 3rd birthday looming just around the corner and the fact that we’re having such a hard time getting pregnant with baby #2, I’ve been thinking a lot about the things I’ve loved about being a mom so far. I’ve been reminiscing about all the wonderful memories I have of my sweet Maya. I’ve been thinking about what my favorite parts of each stage have been. I’ve been trying to cement the moments into my memory, into my heart.
It comes and goes so quickly. These moments that make up our life right now, that define us as parents. They all come and go so quickly that I’m afraid if I blink I might just miss them entirely. I’m only 3 years into this gig and already some of the moments are fuzzy. Some are almost gone entirely from my memory. What will it be like 10 or 15 or 20 years from now? What will I remember?
I want to remember it all. I want to remember, vividly, the late night moments spent cradling my sweet new baby in my arms while she nursed. I want to be able to close my eyes and picture her with that beautiful milk drunk look on her face as she slept peacefully in my arms after eating. I want to breath in and be able to smell the sweet mix of new baby, milk and softness. I want to be able close my eyes and hear the sweet sound of baby laughter, the babbles and even the cries and whimpers. I want to remember what it was like to sit and watch her explore and learn and fall in love with the world around her. I want to remember the sparkle in her eye as she dreams of being a princess. I want to remember the sweet sounds of her singing songs as she goes about her day. I want to remember the feeling of her little arms wrapped tight around my neck as she hugs me and tells me she loves me best. I want to remember it all. I know as time slips away so will some of these moments, some of these feelings, but I will always, always remember the warmth in my heart that comes from knowing I’m her mom, and being her mom is the best thing I’ve ever done.
Motherhood is an ever changing thing. We are always learning new things, always growing. The moments that fill our hearts and our minds are ever changing. Our children grow up so fast, they change so much before our very eyes. Yet one thing is always constant, always the same. It is that feeling of our heart swelling in our chest just at the sound of their voice, just at the sound of someone saying their name. Even though I won’t remember everything. Even though moments I want to hold onto forever will fade, it’s okay, because I will remember a lot and what I remember will be wonderful.
![068 [640x480]](http://www.letstalkbabies.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/068-640x480.JPG "068 [640x480]")
Some mornings the mess is just too much for me.
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The toys scattered all over the floor. Books tossed here and there. Piles of necklaces and princesses and ponies everywhere the eye can see. Plates full of toy food. Stuffed animals under every couch, table and ottoman. It all becomes too much. Trying to walk a path from the entrance of our family room to the couch is impossible and it makes me angry. I force clean ups and discuss the importance of putting a toy away after we are done playing with it. Some mornings I fail to see the beauty of Hurricane Maya and path of destruction she leaves behind.
Other mornings, like this morning, I marvel at the simplicity of childhood as I watch her bounce from one toy to the next. I wonder at and adore the creative juices flowing through her head as she turns the blank slate of a Mr. Potatohead into something beautiful and total her.
![003 [640x480]](http://www.letstalkbabies.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/003-640x4801.JPG "003 [640x480]")
Some mornings I see the beauty in that path of destruction. I see the fleeting moments of toddlerhood, those moments that go by way too fast. I hear the laughter and the constant commentary that comes only from the freedom of being able to pull out every toy, of being able to make the biggest mess possible.
Some mornings I look at this mess and I realize that messy mornings = happy mornings
![006 [640x480]](http://www.letstalkbabies.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/006-640x480.JPG "006 [640x480]")
On this day, 12 years ago, I married my high school sweetheart, the love of my life, my soulmate.
We were just two goofy young kids, in love, ready to start our lives together. We stood on the doorstep of adulthood together.
![080 [640x480]](http://www.letstalkbabies.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/080-640x480.JPG "080 [640x480]")
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Ours is a traditional girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, boy eventually falls in love with girl and boy and girl live happily ever after, love story. A story I’m proud and happy and grateful to be apart of every single day.
19 years ago I met a boy. He was cute and smart and sweet and I knew from the moment I met him that we were destined to be more than friends. But, for quite sometime, I loved that boy from afar hoping he would one day return my affections, but too shy and embarrassed to do anything about it. Over the next couple of years we got to know each other a little better through our mutual friends. We were part of the same group of friends and found ourselves hanging out more and more. Then one day I discovered that the boy I had adored from afar for so long now felt the same for me. We started dating and the rest, is as they say, history.
Over four years after that fateful day me and that boy found ourselves standing together at the alter, exchanging vows and rings. 12 years later we are still very much in love. That boy that I met all those years ago in the hallway at school is now my husband, the father of my child, the man I am spending my forever with. That younger more naive me was right, she and that boy were destined to be more, much more.
Happy Anniversary, Babe! Here’s to many, many more wonderful years together.
![134 [640x480]](http://www.letstalkbabies.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/134-640x480.JPG "134 [640x480]")
What can I say about my hair. We have been in a love/hate relationship for as long as I can remember. I was blessed (?) with very thick (I mean, crazy thick), wavy hair. I’ve struggled to find the right way to wear my hair. All through my teens and most of my twenties I was in and out of hair salons making changes, getting it cut, trying to find the perfect way to manage this unruly mop of mine. To say I had some hairdos I regret, that I wish I could wipe from my memory, is an understatement. I learned the hard way that I could not have short layers, that my hair just wasn’t cut out for many of the cute, shorter styles that were so popular during my late teens and early twenties.
Today, I think it is safe to say that I’m okay with my hair, we’ve called a truce. That truce came in the form of a hair stylist I adore, a cut that works and being introduced to the flat iron. The flat iron, my friends, is God’s gift to people with thick, wavy, unruly hair. Without it my hair would be destined to spend each and every day in a ponytail. With it, my hair has the privilege of letting loose every now and then.
Most days my hair is in a ponytail, tucked safely away from the humidity that is my enemy, but every so often I take the time necessary to make it manageable, and I dare say, cute.
My hair before I use the flat iron. Don’t be fooled by it’s rather calm nature today, it spent half the day pulled back which helped to keep some of the frizz at bay, and I have the front pieces safely tucked away in a bang braid. Oh, and you can’t see the back, which is just, well, a mess.
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My hair after the flat iron. It’s like I have half the amount of hair!!!
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Do you have a love/hate relationship with your hair? How do you find your happy balance?
It steals my breathe to think that my sweet baby is almost 3. I’m busy trying to decide what to do for her birthday, how best to celebrate, all the while fighting tears over the fact she is growing up way too fast.
She is definitely a little girl now. The baby and toddler in her have faded making way for this beautiful, smart, energetic little girl.
I think every age a child goes through has its fun parts, its joys. When they are really tiny you get to sit and snuggle with them all the time, you get to watch as they slowly start being awake more and more. As they get a little bigger you get to watch them explore their world and play and react with their environment. As they slowly leave the baby phase you get to watch as they learn to walk, talk and interact with other kids. As they go from toddling around to running you get to see them really open up, really learn about language and develop a sense of independence.
Now that Maya is going on 3 we are into a whole new fun phase. Her grasp of language is impeccable. The things she says now sound like a little mini-adult is saying them. Her sentence structure is wonderful, her vocabulary is huge and she is constantly learning and growing her language skills. It certainly makes parenting so much easier when they can tell you exactly what they want, why they are crying, what they want to play with, etc. She loves to explore and learn new things. She loves to ask questions.
There are so many things I love about Maya at this age. So many funny, and cute, and sweet things she is doing. Things like:
- She is big into princesses right now. Her favorite movie is Beauty and The Beast. Which is funny because when I was a teenager I babysat this little girl who loved that movie and after watching it hundreds of times with her I swore I would never watch it again, and now here I am watching it on a daily basis.
- She loves to play dress up. Give her a crown, or a pair of bunny ears, or a pretty dress, or a boa and you will have made her day.
- She has an incredible imagination and loves to play pretend. Whether it is playing with her toy kitchen and making us all lunch, having a little tea party, playing “mommy” to her babies and toy animals, or playing with her all time favorite my little ponies, she loves to play make-believe.
- She is extremely opinionated, and about the strangest things. Most mornings the first thing out of her mouth is “No ponytail, Mommy.” as I’m busy throwing my bed head hair into a quick ponytail. She loves to boss us around and tell us where to sit, or what to do, or what not to do.
- She loves to go to the park, and would probably go everyday if she could. The other day at dinner we asked her what she wanted to do after dinner, her response “Umm, maybe, playground, maybe?”, with a little head tilt added for good measure. She can turn on the charm when she needs to as well
- She has her moments where she is crazy and rambunctious and all over the place, but most of the time she can be found sitting quietly reading her books, or coloring or playing quietly with her toys.
- She adores, just adores, her kitties. She is, and always has been, super sweet and gentle with them.
- She is a mommy’s girl through and through. I have to admit, I love it. I love that she still needs me, that she still lets me hold her and cuddle her.
I could go on and on and on. There is so much I love about her, so much that amazes me and makes me happy. I want to bottle it all up and savor these moments. I want to pause time and stay here with her, just like this, for a little while longer.
