I returned to St. Louis to find that we had been overtaken by the cicada.  And, when I say overtaken, that is what I mean. It is like a horror movie or something.  They are literally EVERYWHERE.  Apparently this happens every 13 years, thank god it only happens every 13 years because seriously these things are driving me crazy.

My garden, lawn, trees and the side of my shed are riddled with the adolescent shells of cicadas.  They apparently shed their skins when they emerge from the ground in order to reveal their adult form, a larger, flying version of themselves.  The sheer volume is absurd and totally disgusting.  The volume of their sound is beyond loud.  It is literally hard to hear someone else talking unless they are right beside you.  Plus, the adult cicadas are in every tree and flying all around.  They are constantly flying into me when I am outside, gross.  And, when I have Maya’s pool filled up out back they are constantly landing in it and can’t get out so I have to fish them out.  Just writing about them is making my skin crawl.

It is no secret that bugs and I do not get along.  I have a total (and I admit mostly irrational) bug phobia.  The only bugs I can tolerate without having a completely embarrassing freak out at the sight of them are lady bugs and bumble bees.  Although, one year when we were living in Florida there was an infestation of lady bugs and even then those cute little bugs freaked me out, any bug in large quantity is too much for me.  So, needless to say, returning home to find thousands of cicadas had now taken up residence in my backyard has me all kinds of grossed out.

And, I”m not the only one who is bugged out by these bugs.  Outdoor places, particularly those with lots of trees, like the park, are deserted.  I braved the early morning heat and the constant dive bombing of cicadas into my hair to take Maya to the park this morning.  There was no one else there when we first arrived, and let me tell you, that is completely unusual for our neighborhood park, it is usually packed no matter how hot it is.  Eventually another couple of moms with little ones arrived and said the same thing I had been thinking since I arrived “Ewww, gross, why did I bother coming here.”  Every few minutes either one of us moms or one of our kids would let out a squeal and the “a bug has landed on me” dance would begin.  It was seriously comical.

But, the worst is yet to come.  At some point around mid-July (or so I’ve been told) all these adults will have done the deed, laid new cicada eggs that will torment us 13 years from now, and they will all die.  So, what happens to a cicada when it dies, does it just vanish?  Nope, it falls from the tree it has laid its eggs in resulting in the presence of dead cicada bodies every where.  That means that the thousands of cicadas that have taken up residence in my backyard will die and leave their dead cicada bodies all over my backyard.  Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.  Lorne will definitely be in charge of that clean up!

At least I have another 13 years to prepare for the next go around with these loud, pesky bugs.