As the mom of a very lazy nurser I’m still amazed by the efficiency with which Anna eats. Maya was such a slow eater, like crazy slow. I had to spend half the time keeping her awake or waking her up so she would keep nursing. In the first months of her life our nursing sessions were definitely of the marathon variety. A quick middle of the night nursing session would be no less than an hour. She did eventually get a little more efficient but she was never what I would call an efficient eater. So, when Anna decided she preferred the fast food variety of breastmilk I was dumbfounded and didn’t really know what to do.

Seriously, this girl knows how to get it done. A long nursing session with Anna is 20 minutes. Usually she is done in 5-10 minutes. She just chugs it down until she is full. She never stops sucking until she is full and ready to be done. Even if she starts to fall asleep at the breast she is still efficiently sucking away. Not once has she tried to use me as a pacifier. If she is full she is done and will pull off and display her lovely milk drunk face. She is not about wasting time eating, she apparently has more important things to do with her time

It has taken me a while to get used to this new found breastfeeding efficiency. At first I was constantly worried that she hadn’t eaten enough, especially at night when she was ready to be laid back down in bed just a mere 10 minutes after she woke up to nurse. I’ve tried to offer her my breast again only to be screamed at because, “seriously, mom, I’m done.”  But, now that I’ve adjusted my thinking from that of a mom with a lazy nurser to that of a mom with an efficient nurser we are in a groove. I seriously love how easy it is to nurse her and how I can quickly sit down to feed her and be ready to head out the door 15 minutes later, it makes life so much easier. But, secretly I kind of miss the lengthy alone time so I find myself holding her on my shoulder just a few minutes longer so I can get my fill of cuddle time

Of course, having an efficient nurser isn’t without its challenges. I’m sure her chugging down her meals in 5 minutes flat is a big contributing factor to the amount of spitting up she does. I always know when half her meal is going to come back up based on how loud and unsettled her chugging is. I’ve discovered that it is really best to feed her before she gets too hungry and too worked up because she will keep things a little slower and won’t go too crazy with her chugging, thus, less spit up. Even with the extra spit up and less nursing session snuggle time I’d pick the efficient nurser over the lazy nurser any day.

When it comes to breastfeeding there are a lot of challenges a mom can face along the way. We hear a lot about women who cannot produce enough milk for their babies but we don’t often hear about the reverse problem, those who produce too much milk or who have a letdown that is so forceful it causes problems for both mom and baby.  You would think having too much milk, or milk that comes out too fast wouldn’t be much a problem, but for those of us who suffer from overactive letdown or oversupply we know just how much of a challenge it can be.

Overactive letdown, also referred to as forceful letdown, is when the milk forcefully sprays out of the breast during letdown. It can occur only with the first letdown per feeding, or multiple times per feeding.  Often the mother will have pain, or at the very least discomfort, in her breasts during the letdown. A baby nursing from a mother overactive letdown often has difficulty managing the flow and will choke, gag, and pull away from the breast. As a result these babies often end up with a lot of extra air in their tummies causing them to be gassy and fussy.  Since so much milk is coming out so quickly babies often fill up on the lighter, sugary foremilk and doesn’t get enough of the rich hindmilk. This lactose imbalance can result in gassiness, green, runny stools, discomfort and a lot of spitting up.

Moms with overactive letdown often end up being told their babies are lactose intolerant or that the baby is reacting to something in the mother’s diet, or that their babies are just coliky. This often results in the end of the breastfeeding relationship.

Although you can’t control your letdown there are a few things you can do to help make the flow a little more manageable for baby. These include:

• Nurse the baby in a position so that the baby is “uphill”, modified cradle hold so that baby is tummy is lower than her head, football hold, or laying down so the baby’s head of above the breast.
• Remove the baby from the breast during the letdown and let the milk spray into a clean cloth placing the baby back on the breast when the flow has slowed down.
• Pump through the first letdown and then begin breastfeeding when the flow slows down.
• Remove the baby from the breast often during breastfeeding to burp him or her to help prevent too much air build up.
• Nurse the baby on one breast only per feeding. This will allow the baby to get the richer hindmilk.
• If the baby wants to nurse again within 2 hours return to the same breast.
• If you flow is incredibly forceful and you have too much supply nurse the baby on the same breast for a 2-4 hour block, switching only after that time frame is up.
• Some women find it helpful to pump to empty first thing in the morning as it can help keep the flow slower during the day.
• Nurse the baby when he or she is drowsy as their sucking with be less intense and will help keep the flow of milk a little slower.

It may take a while but eventually your baby should see some relief from the discomfort of the overactive letdown. Some babies, when faced with overactive letdown continuously, will begin to refuse the breast, or get angry when nursing. Try to work through it by following some of the helpful tips above, eventually the baby should return to nursing.

I’ve suffered from overactive letdown with both of my daughters. Thanks to the 19 months of breastfeeding experience I had under my belt I recognized what was going on immediately this go around. Anna and I are still trying to work through this challenge. I’ve been nursing her on one breast per feeding for several weeks and have started letting my initial letdown spray into a cloth. Slowly, I am beginning to see some improvement in her tummy troubles.

It can be frustrating dealing with a problem that others don’t necessarily see as a problem. Be sure to seek support from a lactation consultant or your local La Leche League if you are suffering from oversupply or overactive letdown. Having support to work through the challenge and to help come up with ways to manage the related issues will make it so much easier to continue your breastfeeding relationship with your baby.

The early days of my breastfeeding experience with Maya were challenging. I didn’t know what I was doing, she was having trouble latching and was frustrated. Between nipple confusion because of supplement feedings we had to do due to her jaundice, my milk taking 4 days to come in and marathon nursing sessions that had us both crying, it definitely took a lot of determination to make it through the first two weeks. But, even with the learning curve of being a new mom I wouldn’t trade any of it. What started out as a challenge ended with a beautiful 19 month breastfeeding experience and a well fed, happy, content baby. My breastfeeding experience with Maya is something I will always treasure.

This time around I had 19 months of breastfeeding experience under my belt and knew what to expect heading out of the gate. I was prepared for the challenging early days. I was prepared for sleepless nights, a frustrated baby waiting on my milk to come in, I was prepared for it all and ready to handle it all like the breastfeeding pro I now am.

Immediately I realized things were going to be very different from my first go around. Anna latched perfectly and ate beautifully the first time and every time since then. My milk came in earlier this time and I wasn’t as worried about things. Anna was eating, she was peeing, and she was pooping, so I knew everything was fine. At 11 days old, Anna, is breastfeeding like a pro and we are both happy and stress free.

Those 19 months I spent nursing Maya was not only wonderful for her and I, but it turns out it is benefiting Anna too. The lack of stress and not feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing has made so much difference. When I talked with the lactation consultant at the hospital it was so different than my first go around when I felt like I didn’t know anything and felt like I was under so much pressure. We just chatted about things, and it was very easy going. I wasn’t stressed or worried about anything and I had a baby who was content and doing all the right things. We chatted like equals, like old friends.

I’ve also noticed a huge difference in how and where I breastfeed. If Anna is hungry and I’m sitting down to eat dinner I nurse her at the table. With Maya have gone to her room and fed her and waited to eat until she was done. I feel more comfortable holding her on my lap without a boppy pillow in place. In fact, I rarely use my boppy because Anna doesn’t nurse well laying on her side, so I usually sit her on my lap so she is more upright. I haven’t nursed her in public yet, but only because we haven’t really been out yet. But, I’m confident in my ability to tackle public nursing this go around in a way I wasn’t with Maya. Really I’m proud of myself for making such strides since last time and I’m thankful to Maya for teaching me things that I can now use in my breastfeeding of Anna.

I foresee another great, lengthy breastfeeding experience, because, this…this is awesome.

I know that it is early and we are likely to run into some challenges along the way. But, the thing is, I’m not worried about it. I know that no matter what little challenges might pop up we’ll handle it.

My friend Heather over at The Spohrs Are Multiplying, wrote what was for me, a very thought provoking piece today.  As you all know I am a big advocate of breastfeeding and I think every mom who can should give it a try.  I write a lot about the benefits and the challenges.  I’ve shared my own successful breastfeeding story.  Breastfeeding is a big deal to me.

After reading Heather’s post and learning about her fear to admit that she had given up breastfeeding it made me question my advocacy a little bit.  I still wholehearted believe that every mom, if she can, should try to breastfeed.  Advocacy is important because it provides education, information and support.  However, does advocacy make those who try but decide to give it up feel more guilty than they should?

I know breastfeeding isn’t for everyone.  Sometimes the challenges of early breastfeeding are too much for some.  Sometimes the baby just never figures out the latch and pumping and feeding just are practical.  Sometimes, like in Heather’s situation, a mom has to give up breastfeeding so she can take care of herself and be the best mom to her baby.  I don’t want my advocacy to make those women feel guilty.  I don’t want them to be afraid to admit that they have chosen not to breastfeed.  There is no shame or defeat in saying you gave breastfeeding your best shot and it just didn’t work out, no matter the reason.

My mom suffered, and still does suffer, guilt over not being able to breastfeed my youngest brother. He was born 8 weeks premature and at the time of his birth, 19 years ago, they didn’t have women pump and feed their premature babies in the NICU.  Plus, due to major complications after my brother’s birth my mom was on some heavy duty meds.  So, as my brother grew stronger and gained the weight necessary to come home, as my mom attempted to recover from a very difficult birth, her milk dried up.  She had breastfed 4 previous children and not being able to breastfeed her baby made her feel incredible guilt.   She still to this day wonders, worries and feels guilty about not breastfeeding him.  She shouldn’t have to feel that guilt.

To all the moms out there who give breastfeeding a try and it just doesn’t work out.  To all the moms out there who have to give up breastfeeding.  To all the moms out there, like my own mom, who can’t breastfeed for some reason.  There is no shame in formula feeding a baby.  We are all good moms, breastfeeding moms and formula feeding moms.

Nipple confusion, in basic terms, is when your baby forgets how to nurse or how to draw milk from a breast nipple.  It is caused when a baby is introduced too early to artificial nipples like pacifiers or bottle nipples.  Since artificial nipples are easier to use and require much less effort on the baby’s part to get the milk out the baby may become confused when then placed on the breast and be unable to draw milk out.

Babies are born with a natural ability to suck.   However, the type of sucking necessary to draw milk from an artificial nipple is different than the sucking technique for drawing milk out of a breast nipple.  A breast nipple is soft and requires the baby to open very wide and then engage many muscles in order to suckle properly and draw out the milk.  When nursing a baby uses 40 different facial muscles!  An artificial nipple is firmer and pre-formed and can be coaxed into the baby’s mouth without much effort on the part of the baby, the suckle required to draw milk out of a bottle nipple is very minimal.

When nipple confusion occurs you may notice the baby refuses to latch and if he or she does latch they get very frustrated and upset almost immediately.  This is caused by the fact the baby has forgotten how to draw milk from the breast nipple and is getting frustrated because he or she can’t get anything to come out.  You can imagine why the poor little thing is screaming so hard, all he wants to do is fill his hungry tummy with yummy milk but he can’t get anything to come out.

If you suspect your baby is suffering from nipple confusion you have your work cut out for you but you can get past this breastfeeding challenge and continue down the road of successful breastfeeding.   Just remember to be patient and avoid getting too frustrated.

• Offer the breast at every feeding.
• Begin to nurse your baby before he or she shows signs of being overly hungry or before he or she becomes fussy.
• Avoid offering your baby artificial nipples until the nipple confusion has resolved, if possible.
• Consider changing your nursing position to something more relaxing and comfortable for both you and the baby.
• Contact a lactation consultant for some assistance.  They may be able to give you some advice over the phone, or better yet meet up with you and help you figure this out.
• If you baby appears to be losing weight or shows other signs of not getting enough to eat like too few wet or soiled diapers than contact your child’s pediatrician.

Nipple confusion can lead to other problems as well such as engorgement, clogged milk ducts, an extended nursing strike, sore nipples (from improper latch) and possibly loss of weight by the baby if he or she is not getting enough to eat so it is important to back on track quickly.  Many moms who have babies who develop nipple confusion often give up on breastfeeding.  But, you can get past this challenge with a little effort, patience and persistence.

The best way to avoid nipple confusion to begin with is to put off introducing artificial nipples to your infant until breastfeeding is well established.  Once you and your baby have the hang of breastfeeding and are in a good routine nipple confusion is much less likely.

For many pregnant moms who have decided to breastfeed their babies there is often one lingering fear, breastfeeding in public, and a worry that this fear will lead to them being stuck at home all the time.  I had those same fears when I was pregnant with my daughter.  However, there really isn’t anything to be afraid off.  Breastfeeding in public, once you become comfortable and experienced with breastfeeding is really quite simple.  You can often do it and no one will even notice.

The key to successfully breastfeeding in public is to be prepared both by having a bit of experience with breastfeeding and making sure you have the right gear.  Once you are comfortable with the breastfeeding process (usually after the first few weeks) breastfeeding in public will be that much easier.  You’ll discover, as you nurse your baby at home, how he or she nurses, what type of environment works best for them and what gear works best for you.  Once you have the experience and the right gear you’ll be able to head out whenever and know that you’ll be able to successfully breastfeed your baby in public.

Here are a few tips and tricks for making your experience breastfeeding in public a successful one:

• Wear the right clothing.  Shirts made specifically for nursing moms are great when you know you’ll be nursing in public.  You can wear a nursing tank under a nice button up shirt or cardigan to make things easier on yourself while still looking cute.
• Be sure to purchase a good nursing bra, one that opens and closes with one hand and make sure you know how it works and that you like the way it works before you attempt to use it while nursing out in public.
• Invest in a good breastfeeding cover or sling.  By nursing your baby either in a sling or using a breastfeeding cover you’ll not only be hiding the “goods” you’ll also be giving your child a quiet, distraction free environment to nurse in.
• Practice nursing your baby in public by nursing him or her in front of family and friends when they come over to visit.  You’ll become more comfortable using all the gear like your nursing shirts, nursing bra and the sling or breastfeeding cover by trying them out a few times before hand.
• If you are still not totally comfortable breastfeeding in public be sure you find a discreet spot to sit.  It’ll help you feel more comfortable and also give your baby a little added peace and quiet for nursing.
• Know your baby’s schedule and hunger cues so you can be ready to nurse at the first signs of hunger, before they get all worked up.

The more you do it the more comfortable you’ll become.   Look around while you are out and you’ll notices other moms discreetly breastfeeding their babies too.  Often times you don’t even notice it unless you are looking for it.  Don’t worry if you decide you just can’t do it, many moms will choose to forgo breastfeeding in public all together and will instead choose to bottle feed expressed breast milk while they are away from home, that’s a perfectly fine alternative.

All it takes is one trip to your local discount retailer or baby store to see that baby feeding is big business.  Aisles and aisles are filled with the gear and equipment necessary to feed a baby.  Everything from breast pumps to breastfeeding support pillows to bottles to formula.  It can be, understandably, very overwhelming for a new mom to stand in these aisles and try to figure out what she needs and what will best meet her baby feeding needs.

Depending on whether you plan on breastfeeding or bottle feeding will, of course, impact the baby feeding gear you will need.   For example, if you will be exclusively breastfeeding you will not need formula and won’t need as many bottles.  However, if you are exclusively bottle feeding you can skip the breast pump and will need to make sure you are adequately stocked up on bottles and formula.  Here is a quick break down of what you’ll need.

If you plan on breastfeeding you will need:

• A breastfeeding support pillow.  I’ve professed my love of the Boppy pillow in the past, but any breastfeeding support pillow will do the trick.
• A breast Pump.  The type you get will depend on your needs.  If you will be returning to work and will be doing a lot of pumping than you’ll want an high quality electric pump.  However, if you will be staying home and don’t plan on doing much pumping than a manual pump may be enough for you.
• A couple of good nursing bras and shirts.
• A tube of lanolin to help relieve the chapping and discomfort of your nipples during early breastfeeding.
• Breast pads.  These help protect your bra and clothing from any leaking that may happen.
• A good supply of bottles.  You may need to try out a few different types before you find the one your baby likes best.
• Some cleaning supplies for the bottles, such as a bottle brush and a basket for your dishwasher to help keep all the little pieces of the bottle from getting lost.
• A handful of burp clothes.

If you plan on bottle feeding you will need:

• A supply of formula to get you started.  You may find your baby doesn’t take to all formulas and you may need to change the brand you  use, so I don’t recommend buying too much before you figure out which brand your baby takes to.
• A large supply of bottles.  You’ll need little bottles for the first few months and then you’ll likely move up to the larger sized bottles so make sure you have both.  How many you need will depend on how often you want to be washing bottles.
• A breastfeeding support pillow may be useful for a bottle feeding mom as well, but probably won’t be a necessity for you.
• Plenty of bottle nipples.  You may want to get a couple of varieties and figure out which type your baby likes best.
• A handful of burping clothes.
• Cleaning supplies for the bottles including a bottle brush and a basket for your dishwasher to keep all the little bottle pieces together.
• A bottle sterilizer (not necessary as you can just boil them in a pot of water).
• A couple of insulated baby bottle carry bags for when you need to take a bottle of formula on the go with you.
• A portable bottle warmer that plugs into the cigarette lighter in your car (if you plan on feeding the baby on the go often).

Be sure to talk to your friends and family members with small children to figure out what they found they needed and what they determined they could live without.  As I mentioned above, you may find that your baby develops a preference for a specific bottle type, or nipple type or brand of formula, so it is best to just buy a few of these things and when you determine what your baby likes best you can stock up on that type or brand.

I breastfed my daughter and she never did take to a bottle so I didn’t end up using any of the bottle supplies I purchased.  You won’t know for sure what you need for your baby feeding situation until you get into it, however, there are basic supplies that pretty much everyone needs so you can be sure to have that stuff on hand for when the baby comes home and then pick up the rest as you go and as you need it.

What baby feeding gear did you find most helpful and most necessary?  Did it change depending on if you were breastfeeding or bottle feeding?

“The lazy nurser” is a baby that would rather drift off to sleep instead of eating.  It typically occurs in younger infants, usually during the first couple of months.  A lazy nurser will suck a little then begin drifting off to sleep needing to be awakened in order to finish nursing.  This cycle can often result in long, marathon nursing sessions leaving mom a wee bit sleep deprived.

My daughter was a lazy nurser for the first couple of months of her life.  She loved to fall asleep nursing, which was great when she ate enough before falling asleep because it meant I could just lay her down and fall asleep myself.  However, often she would only nurse a little then quietly drift off to sleep and I would have to wake her up.  At first it would result in 1-1.5 hour long nursing sessions, a lot of frustration and a very tired mommy.  I learned a few tricks to dealing with my lazy nurser that I wanted to share with those of you out there also dealing with a little lazy nurser.

Nursing your lazy nurser:

• Change the baby’s diaper before you start nursing, or in the middle of the nursing session if your baby tends to fall asleep part way through.
• Don’t nurse your baby all wrapped up, a swaddled baby is more likely to fall asleep instead of nursing.
• Nurse your baby in nothing but a diaper.  The cool air will help keep the baby awake.
• Tickle the baby’s feet as you nurse him to help keep him awake.
• Compress the breast to increase the flow if your baby begins to fall asleep, the increased flow with usually awaken them.
• Use a cool, damp cloth and rub it across the baby’s forehead and cheek to help awaken a sleeping nurser.

The trick is to make sure you start out the nursing session with a baby that is fully awake and then to keep the baby awake enough to get a full tummy before he or she falls asleep.   You’ll figure out as you go what works best for you baby.

If you are worried that your baby isn’t getting enough to eat just keep track of their diapers and make sure they are wetting and soiling enough diapers each day.  You could also take the baby into the pediatrician to get weighed to make sure he or she is gaining weight.

I always knew that Maya’s tummy was full when none of the tricks worked to wake her up

After you get over that initial bumpy start to breastfeeding things tend to smooth out and breastfeeding life is good, easy.  Your baby will often nuzzle in close, close her eyes and just nurse quietly.  This easy breastfeeding with continue for several months.  Then one day you’ll realize that your baby has suddenly become distracted by everything and breastfeeding will become a bit of a challenge again.

At around 4-5 months babies become much more aware of their surroundings and become interested in what is going on around them, even when busy nursing.  Things like other people in the room, the dog or cat running around, the television can all become more interesting than your breast and will result in your baby letting go of their latch to look around and see what is happening.  It can be frustrating not only because the nursing sessions will often become longer when your baby is constantly stopping and starting but also those quick unlatchings can be painful.

Every baby (well almost anyway) will go through this phase.  My daughter went through it at about4 months old.  I had to change up our breastfeeding routine and we were able to settle back into a nice, quiet routine that worked.  Luckily this is one of the easier breastfeeding challenges to over come.  With a little creativity and making a few changes you can easily nurse your baby through this distracted period.

Here are a few tips on nursing a distracted baby:

• Nurse in a quiet spot with few distractions.  If you were used to nursing in the living room talking to your husband and watching television consider switching to nursing in your child’s bedroom.
• If there are distractions in the room try to position yourself so that the distractions are not in your baby’s line of sight.
• Make eye contact with your baby and softly talk to him, this will help keep his focus on you and the task at hand.
• Allow your baby to play with something like a favorite toy or blanket.  If their focus is on that favorite, fun item they are less likely to be distracted by what is going on around them.
• Consider using a blanket or a breastfeeding cover, especially if you are in a place where the distractions are plentiful, to help keep out the distracting sights and sounds.
• If your baby is easily distracted by noises consider playing a calming cd or use a white noise machine during nursing to help drown out the outside noises.

Although it can be frustrating and you may want to just give up try to work through.  You are doing the best thing for your baby by breastfeeding, keep it up.  Bottlefed babies get distracted too.   Just switch up your routine a bit and work with your baby to keep your nursing sessions quiet and enjoyable.

They grow up so fast.

Last night I weaned Maya from her last nursing session.  She had been down to just nursing before bed for a couple of months now.  It had been part of her bedtime routine for so long (her whole life!) that I was a little scared to stop just in case my perfect little sleeper became a not so perfect sleeper as a result. Luckily I think it will all work out ok

Deciding to wean her was not a decision I was able to make easily.  A couple of weeks ago I started to feel like I was ready to be done breastfeeding.  Maya was only nursing for about 10 minutes max before bed but often spent the whole time fidgeting and playing.  It was a nice way for her to wind down for the night but I didn’t feel like she needed it anymore.  When I put her in her crib after nursing her she is wide awake and has been falling asleep on her own at bedtime and naptime for months now.  The hard part about taking the plunge was that I knew she still enjoyed that time at the end of the day, and so did I.  Breastfeeding has always been our quiet time together, our “just the two of us” time.  I’ll miss that.

So, yesterday I put on a regular bra (first time in almost 20 months!) when I got dress in the morning and said “Ok, today is the day.”  I took Maya to the book store and we picked out a new bedtime book.  When the time came I had her kiss the kitties and Daddy goodnight like usual and we went into her bedroom.  She asked to nurse by signing and I said “No, honey.  Mommy’s milk is all gone.  Instead you can have some of this milk (I gave her a small cup of milk) and we are going to read your new story.”  We sat down together in our regular chair and read the story.  She took a couple of sips of the milk but wasn’t all that interested (she isn’t a big milk drinker).  She loved the story.  When I was done reading she asked again to nurse and I explained again that “mommy’s milk” was all gone, she was ok with that.  I gave her an extra big hug and kiss and laid her down in her crib.  She didn’t cry at all, she just talked to her stuffed animals for a few minutes and then fell right to sleep.  However, I almost cried.  I’m sure if my husband hadn’t been sitting in the other room I might have.  I was definitely ready to be done, but at the same time it sort of felt like it officially made her no longer a baby.  Now, I know that we still might have a few rough nights ahead where she won’t be quite so understanding, but I’m thankful for an easy first night and so proud of her.

I am so proud of myself for making it 19 months (almost 20 actually).  When I was pregnant I knew I wanted to nurse at least 12 months and then wean slowly from there.  That is exactly what I did.  After a little bit of a rough start we both got the hang of it and it was a wonderful experience.  My breastfeeding experience wasn’t without it’s challenges, including a clogged milk duct I could have done without, but it was a wonderful experience.

My hope with sharing my own breastfeeding stories here is that I will inspire women who can breastfeed to give it a try.  I hope that by reading my story and learning from my experiences someone is able to get over a breastfeeding hurdle and stick with it.

Here’s to 19 months (+) of successful breastfeeding.