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Sometimes I am reminded of just how unfair life can be, how heartbreaking life can be. Today I was a reminded.
No parent should ever have to say “today is the day my child has been gone longer than she was alive”, never. My heart is heavy with sadness for Heather, Mike, Annie and the rest of their family. My thoughts are filled with thoughts of a little girl who has touched my heart in so many ways. Maddie, you are missed and loved by so many.
Please say a pray, send a thought, send some love to Heather and Mike today and take a moment to remember the wonderful Madeline.
My friend Heather over at The Spohrs Are Multiplying, wrote what was for me, a very thought provoking piece today. As you all know I am a big advocate of breastfeeding and I think every mom who can should give it a try. I write a lot about the benefits and the challenges. I’ve shared my own successful breastfeeding story. Breastfeeding is a big deal to me.
After reading Heather’s post and learning about her fear to admit that she had given up breastfeeding it made me question my advocacy a little bit. I still wholehearted believe that every mom, if she can, should try to breastfeed. Advocacy is important because it provides education, information and support. However, does advocacy make those who try but decide to give it up feel more guilty than they should?
I know breastfeeding isn’t for everyone. Sometimes the challenges of early breastfeeding are too much for some. Sometimes the baby just never figures out the latch and pumping and feeding just are practical. Sometimes, like in Heather’s situation, a mom has to give up breastfeeding so she can take care of herself and be the best mom to her baby. I don’t want my advocacy to make those women feel guilty. I don’t want them to be afraid to admit that they have chosen not to breastfeed. There is no shame or defeat in saying you gave breastfeeding your best shot and it just didn’t work out, no matter the reason.
My mom suffered, and still does suffer, guilt over not being able to breastfeed my youngest brother. He was born 8 weeks premature and at the time of his birth, 19 years ago, they didn’t have women pump and feed their premature babies in the NICU. Plus, due to major complications after my brother’s birth my mom was on some heavy duty meds. So, as my brother grew stronger and gained the weight necessary to come home, as my mom attempted to recover from a very difficult birth, her milk dried up. She had breastfed 4 previous children and not being able to breastfeed her baby made her feel incredible guilt. She still to this day wonders, worries and feels guilty about not breastfeeding him. She shouldn’t have to feel that guilt.
To all the moms out there who give breastfeeding a try and it just doesn’t work out. To all the moms out there who have to give up breastfeeding. To all the moms out there, like my own mom, who can’t breastfeed for some reason. There is no shame in formula feeding a baby. We are all good moms, breastfeeding moms and formula feeding moms.
Anytime your child or baby comes down with a fever, no matter how old they are, it is scary. A common cold with no fever, allergies, even the flu bug (as long as it doesn’t come with a fever) are all easy to deal with. Somehow, when you add a fever to the mix, no matter how experienced a parent you are it just makes your heart skip a beat, it makes you question your instincts.
In most cases a fever is nothing to worry about. Children’s bodies fight infection differently than an adult’s body does. Often times they will come down with a slight fever while fighting the common cold. As long as the fever doesn’t get too high and is easily managed with over the counter fever reducers you likely don’t have anything to worry about. However, you should keep an eye out for the following, as they are signs that it is time to call your doctor:
- If your child is under the age of 3 months old and has a temperature of 100.4 degrees or higher.
- If your child is between the ages of 3 months and 6 months and has a temperature of 101 degrees or higher
- If your child is over 6 months of age and is running a temperature of 103 degrees or higher.
- You aren’t able to control or bring down your child’s temperature using over the counter fever reducers.
- Your child has unusual symptoms along with a fever such as sleepiness, irritability, difficulty breathing, red or purple spots, or any other troubling symptoms.
- Your child’s fever last more than a few days.
- Anytime your child has a fever and you are unsure.
Our pediatrician’s office recommends calling whenever there is a fever involved as a nurse is always available to run through symptoms with us and give advice. I love that about her. Most pediatricians and family doctors will say the same thing. When there is a fever involved it is always best to err on the side of caution and make the call. Fevers, though often nothing, can be warning signs of something else going on, so if in doubt call the doctor.
If you are unsure of how to try your child’s fever talk to your child’s doctor for medication and dosage recommendations.
This past Saturday, April 24th, St. Louisians came out in full force to support the March of Dimes and walked for babies. They walked for babies who were born too early, babies who were lost, babies who survived and thrived, babies not yet born. In that large group of walkers was a small group walking in honor of a very special little girl. In that large group of walkers was a special team, March for Maddie St. Louis.
When I started the March for Maddie St. Louis team a few months ago I figured there would maybe be two or three other people who may join me. I figured we’d raise a couple of hundred dollars if we were lucky. Then something amazing happened. Others found our team through Heather Spohr’s blog and joined our team. Together, the 8 of us (one wasn’t able to walk with us) raised an incredible $2690 for the March of Dimes in the name of Madeline Spohr.
As we met up, got to know each other and share stories it was so amazing to know that each of us had been touched and inspired by Maddie and by Heather and Mike. We were each walking to support a family we had never met but who we felt like we knew and who we wanted to support, love and honor. We were each walking to honor a little girl we had never had the pleasure of meeting but who filled our hearts that day.
The walk was amazing. Like last year I was inspired by all the little kids walking wearing shirts declaring “I was a preemie, Look at me now!!!” Seeing those kids, so big, so healthy, was a true testament to the amazing work that the March of Dimes is doing and the wonder that the money we raise for the cause by participating in events like the March for Babies can really do. My friend Heather was walk with her daughter Claire who was born 6 weeks early. Heather sported an adorable t-shirt with the weeks her two children were born at in hearts, 36 for her son Logan and 34 for her daughter Claire.
Maya had a great time on the walk. And though she doesn’t get why were walking she understood it was for Maddie. She loves Maddie and proudly wore her Friends of Maddie t-shirt. The most amazing thing was that she wanted to bring her Maddie’s Monster (melted my heart). She also brought her Abby doll, not knowing that it was one of Maddie’s favorites too 
Walking for Maddie, walking for all babies, was an honor. I can’t wait to do it again next year.
This is my favorite picture of the day, taken by my friend Heather.
This Saturday, April 24th, I’ll will done my Friends of Maddie t-shirt and my running shoes. I’ll meet up with the other women, friends and strangers, who make up our March for Maddie St. Louis team. We will walk side by side in honor of a little girl who continues to touch my heart every day. We will walk side by side in solidarity with Heather and Mike Spohr. We will walk side by side in support of an organization doing amazing things to advance maternal and infant medical care so that one day, just maybe, every baby will be born healthy.
Walking in honor of Madeline Spohr in this weekend’s March for Babies is such an honor. I am proud to be contributing to a cause near and dear to my heart.
As I walk I will remember all the people in my life who have been affected by prematurity, including my baby brother. Who will be celebrating his 19th birthday this summer. He has come a long way from the rough start his life had when he was born 8 weeks early.
This Saturday my heart will be filled with love for Maddie. With each step I take I’ll will be thinking about Heather and Mike and their sweet little girl.
I’ve almost reached my fundraising goal. Just $20 to go! Please consider making a donation to help me reach my goal. Every dollar helps. The money to money you donate goes directly to the March of Dimes.