Two Steps Back

Maya is extremely shy and nervous, she has been since birth. Even as a baby she was painfully shy around people, even those she saw regularly, and she had a very nervous personality. I’m sure you all remember the debacle that was our first attempt at gymnastics a couple of years ago. So, when she started preschool last year I was understandably nervous about how it would go. But I ended up not having anything to worry about, she did great.

Thanks to an amazing preschool teacher that really did a great job of helping Maya come out of her shell I felt like we took two giant steps forward in tackling her shyness. She was open to playing with new kids at the playground. She took gymnastics and dance without any trouble. Her summer camps went really well (most of them anyway). I could still see glimpses of that super shy little girl that started the school year, but mostly she was gone. And then we moved…

We are in the second week of school and instead of things improving they seem to be getting worse. She was scared and nervous her first day but did really well at drop off, she didn’t even cry. On her second day she cried at drop off but still ended up having a great day. Yesterday at drop off she threw a fit and clung to me crying. Her teacher was able to calm her down and I was able to leave, but when I came to pick her up she said she didn’t play or do anything all morning she just stood with her teacher. It is definitely beginning to feel like we have taken two steps backwards. The strides we made last year are all but gone.

I know it is still early in the school year so there is still hope. I know a lot of what is going on with her stems from the move and leaving her friends, her school, her home, all that was comfortable to her. I hope that as time passes she’ll make a friend or two in class and things will get easier for her and she’ll gain back some of the confidence she worked so hard for last year. Her teachers at her new school are wonderful and are working hard to help Maya feel comfortable at school and I really appreciate that.

We’ll just keep talking to her, encouraging her and working on getting her to come out of her shell a bit. She loved school so much last year, I hope she gets to that point at this new school too. Looking forward to taking those two giant steps forward with her again, hopefully sooner rather than later.

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2 comments on “Two Steps Back

  1. Oh Lisa, I know how hard that is!

    She’s had a LOT of change, so it’s not surprising that she’s reverted back to some old behavior. I bet as soon as she makes a couple of friends, she’ll be the confident girl again.

    Hugs to you both!

  2. I think this is totally normal. Her entire world was just recently turned on its head, so it’s taking her a little time to find her feet. I agree with Jenna, as soon as she settles in and makes a friend or two, she’ll be fine.

    And if it helps, I had this same issue with Catie after the separation & move. Two random little things that helped with the crying/clinging at drop-off:
    1.) I got one of those photo-holder keychains and put a picture of me on one side & her dad on the other. That way, if she was sad, she could look at us and see that we were “with” her. (Her school has a rule about not bringing toys to school, but they had no issue with the keychain.) I got one of those plastic springy loop keychains to attach to it so she could wear it on her wrist or carry it around easily.

    2.) We made up our own special good-bye routine, which helped a lot. Ours is that she gives me a big hug & 5 kisses, then I give her a big hug & 5 kisses, then we high-five. It’s like our little secret gang handshake.

    I don’t know if either of those will help your situation, but figured it was worth sharing just in case you can use any of that. Hang in there. XOXO

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