I’ve heard before, from several people, that the hardest jump is going from one to two kids. That when you add three, four, seven, or whatever you’ve already made that hurdle from one to two so the rest are a lot easier. I didn’t really, necessarily, believe these people. I figured going from one to two children would be a challenge, but, really how hard could it be.
For nine months now I’ve been the parent of two and it is tough, it is a challenge. But, not in the ways I thought it would be hard. I figured the parenting aspect would be difficult. I figured finding time to spend with both children so they feel special and loved would be hard. I figured the logistics of getting out with two children would be tough. But, truly those things aren’t really that hard. I’ve been able to find time to spend with both kids independently, it isn’t always a lot of time but it has worked. Figuring out the logistics of getting out the door with two children instead of one wasn’t that bad. After a couple of trips I had my system down. The thing I find most challenging is balancing the rest of my daily tasks with my parenting responsibilities.
Before Maya was born I worked full time. Household chores were done on the weekends, or on some rare occasions, after work. Once Maya was born I became a stay-at-home mom and worked out a good routine for the household chores of cleaning, laundry, cooking and running errands. After some trial and error I had a good routine going, the house ran smoothly and our weekends were free to do whatever because almost all the chores were done during the week. It never occurred to me how challenging developing a new routine would be once a second child was added to the mix.
I’ve been at this for nine months now and I can’t find my groove. I can’t find that perfect balance between doing what needs to be done around the house and spending enough quality time with both my girls. While Anna is napping Maya wants my undivided attention because she knows she can’t get it while Anna is awake. And, while Anna is awake I’m on baby duty, nursing her, playing with her, and making sure her now mobile self doesn’t get into any mischief, etc. It is such a challenge to fit into the schedule time to do things like vacuum, or clean bathrooms, or do laundry. I want to spend time with my girls, I don’t necessarily want to vacuum or scrub the toilets so you can imagine which gets dropped to the bottom of the to-do list over and over again.
I need to find a balance. I need to find a good routine that allows me to get to all the household stuff but still feel like I spent good, quality time with my girls at the end of the day. I hate busting my butt cleaning all day only to feel like I neglected my girls all day. There has to be a routine out there that will work, I just haven’t found it yet.
But, truthfully, if, at the end of the day all I got to was hanging out with these two and my house looks like a disaster and my blog is neglected, I don’t really care, because at least I know I got to what is truly important.