cast your stones but know i will throw them back at you

I am beyond delighted to bring you today’s guest post.  It comes from my sister of another mother (seriously we are freckishly similar) and very dear friend, Nic of My Bottle’s Up.  If you are not familiar with Nic and are not already reading her fabulous blog you are missing out.  I met Nic about a year and a half ago and loved her the minute I finished reading one blog post.  She is witty, and hysterically funny, but also passionate, caring and beautiful.  I could go on for ages.

Before I hand you over to Nic let me just say I can so empathize with what she is going through with her son right now.  Parenting a two year old can be tough.  Show her some love and support.

i just let my 26 month old son scream for over an hour during what should have been his nap time.  yup.  i did.  i turned off the monitor, turned up the volume on my itunes, and i let my son scream… this was of course after i had done the obligatory “is he stuck in between crib rails?” or “does he have shit in his pants?” check.

he was not stuck in between crib rails.  he was standing, handing me his blanket and screaming “ALL DONE.”

he was shitless in his pants.  dry as a bone, in fact.

i picked him up, rocked him for a few minutes, and laid him back down… and he stayed down… for 10 minutes.

then something not of this earth entered my son’s room, proceeded to invade his 25 lb body and take hold like a leech for over an hour.

he sounded like an angry, possessed, demonic i don’t know what…  and i just listened and tried not to listen but still heard him for over an hour.

this week has been a particularly rough one for the magoo.  and yeah, i ranted… cuz i have a blog and occasionally you’ll find that people do that on their blogs.

it’s an outlet.

today, when i endured the wrath of yet another napless afternoon for my son, filled with tantrums, turmoil and total chaos, my outlet was not my blog, but instead, my husband’s voicemail.

i called him.  at work.  he didn’t answer.  and when his message finished and the beep BEEPED, i held my cell phone up to the monitor for 1 minute and 5 seconds.

my husband returned my call just minutes later, to let me know he in deed received my message.

“this sucks,” was a portion of his response.

both he and i are at a loss… our son has developed a habit of doing this scream-until-mom-or-dad-comes-in thing beginning at 6 am (when he used to sleep until 7:30) and then again when he goes down for his afternoon nap.  his nap used to last from 1 pm until 3 pm.

as of now, i’m lucky if i get 45 minutes until the demonic wails begin.

so today, i let him howl… until his voice was hoarse.  i told my husband that i was not getting him out of that crib, come hell or high water.

and i stuck to it.

am i the worst mother on the face of the planet? nah.  at least not yet.

did i make the right decision? hell if i know.  i know it felt right at the time.

in my opinion, the terms “right” and “wrong” are overrated.  what you do for your child may be “right” and work for you one day but not the next.  i guess that’s just the awesomeness that comes with parenting.

what i do know is that this week has been unbelievably challenging with my toddler son.

i also know that with age comes all sorts of changes in behavior, mood, habits, etc…

lastly, i know that those of you reading this and judging me for leaving my son in his room for over an hour to scream will have your turn.

we all do, us parents.

we take turns and endure these challenges in this thing called parenthood.

if you do things another way than i do… awesome.

if you do things similarly to the way i do… awesome.

if you judge me and my parenting according to this post and the experiences i have shared with you so candidly… watch your back, because i will let the wrath of my son loose on you and you will find yourself begging me for forgiveness on hands and knees.



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12 comments on “cast your stones but know i will throw them back at you

  1. Ugh. My kid never had the thoughtfulness to do his screaming at home. I wish. Instead he used saved up his scream time for the grocery store, Wal-Mart, McDonalds, the playground….I could go on. It was ugly.

  2. @HeatherPride oh sweet jeebus!!! i have endured one public meltdown (i’m totally screwed and jinxed myself for the rest of today now) and it was in bed bath and beyond… and i just let the little dude wail. he wanted a canteen that was bright blue and i wouldn’t get it for him. an older woman stared at me as though i was depriving my child from a meal or something. after a couple of minutes in the check out line (WHY do they put all the fun stuff in the check out line aisle?!?!) i looked at the woman and said, “he’s going to continue crying. if it’s that painful for you to listen to, feel free to go ahead of me in line.”

  3. Both of my boys were screamers. Actually, they still are. Both at home in their rooms, in public places.

    I have begun to think it is partly their way of communicating when their words are not developmentally to the point of being able to say, “Hey Mom, this sucks and I don’t want to be in here. Would you please be a dear and let me out so I can sit my butt on the couch and watch some Dora?”

    I can tell you that my pediatrician totally agreed with letting the boys scream it out when they were over the age of 6 months. They are not going to hurt themselves by learning Mommy and Daddy are the boss and when we say go to sleep we mean go to sleep! If they chose to spend that time screaming, so be it.

    You’re doing a great job Nic. We have ALL been there!

  4. Still dying laughing at the voicemail thing. I’ve done that too. Our poor husbands. I really do feel sorry for you, in between bouts of hysterical laughing.

  5. jenn- paul got to endure the wrath of the demonic screams this weekend… but only for 25 minutes b/c when daddy’s home, magoo naps.

    ::flicking off paul::

    i’ll just continue gchatting with you during the exorcism. it’s worked well so far.

  6. Being an adult sucks sometimes, when do we get to go to our rooms and scream our mother-loving head off for 45 minutes? I’d consider trying it, but I think I’d rather nap. 🙂

    I went through that with my son, he’s now 11 and still doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t scream about it now…he reads books by flashlight under his covers in hopes of not getting caught.
    Who knows if letting him scream it out did him any good or not. I know that me crying, screaming back at him and BEGGING him to take a nap wasn’t going to make him sleep either…Such is the life of a mother.

  7. i know… it’s like wish is the lesser of two evils, him screaming and me turning up my itunes or giving him what he wants and now giving myself that bit of time to gain just a smidgen (yes, that’s a word) of sanity back.

    LOVE the idea of screaming our heads off for 45 minutes though.

  8. You know that saying about leading a horse to water? Well, several years ago I changed it to: You can lead your kid to bed, but you can’t make him/her sleep.

    So, what’s a parent to do?

    That’s right: put the lock button on the outside of the damn door. An hour is not going t kill him, especially when you’ve made sure he’s safe and dry. A few days (maybe even a week if he’s really stubborn) and he’ll figure out that he’s going to stay in there whether he naps or not, and he’ll nap.

    It worked for my kids, and they’re perfectly FINE! Oh, and I haven’t lost my mind yet, so that’s also good.

  9. i’m writing that on a piece of paper… “you can lead your kid to bed, but you can’t make him/her sleep,” and taping it to the magoo’s bedroom door to remind myself because THAT was awesome.

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