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Monthly Archives: June 2010

Today’s guest post is courtesy of the ever talented Jenn of Princess Prose.  I was jump up and down excited when Jenn agreed to do a guest post for me.  A little over a year ago I found Jenn’s blog and immediately fell in love.  I knew I would love it since she had already been cracking me up for a bit on twitter and her blog definitely didn’t fail me.  Since then Jenn and I have become friends and I’ve gotten to know her a bit better.  Jenn is the type of chick you want in your circle of friends.  She is hilarious, smart, witty, not afraid to say whatever is on her mind even if it goes against the grain (love that about her), and if you ever need her Jenn will have your back 100%.

The number of times I have read something of Jenn’s and said “that’s exactly what I was thinking” or “It’s like she was in my brain when she wrote that”have become too numerurous to count.  The guest post that follows is just such an example.  I mean, who comes up with this crap, better known as children’s television? Enjoy this guest post by the fabulous Princess Jenn:

Growing up we weren’t allowed to watch ‘The Simspsons’  in our house.  For years I thought it was because my mom was the ‘Worst. Mommy. EVER!’

I always swore I’d never ban TV shows in my house (how many of you can hear your mother’s voice saying “well, when you move into your own house you can do whatever you want”?).

*sigh*… you can see where this is going right?

Karma is a b*tch.

My daughter is only three and already the list of Shows That Shall Not Be Viewed In This House is growing.

Don’t get me wrong, there are several good kids shows out there, but there are even more that make me want to claw my eyes out and stick an ice pick into my brain.

Caillou is high up on that list. The theme song starts off with Caillou singing “I’m just a kid who’s four and each day I grow some more, I like exploring. I’m Caillou”.

What he should be singing is “I’m just a whiny brat who has a stupid cat. I’m good at irritating you.”

Yeah, exactly what I want my kid to learn.

The best episode of Caillou I saw, though, is the one where ‘mommy has a headache’ and goes to bed leaving Caillou to watch his little sister.  He’s FOUR!  (yes, I’m yelling at a cartoon)

Even higher though, is the dreaded Max & Ruby.

Ruby is an overbearing bossy bunny?  Check.

Max speaks in demanding one word sentences?  Check?

No parents?  Check.

The biggest question is whether their parents are:

  1. absentee parents.
  2. parents that are working all the time.
  3. lying as roadkill on the side of some highway.
  4. buried under the stairs.

Knowing Max and Ruby, I’m leaning towards #4, and THAT is something I definitely don’t want my daughter learning.

Now you’ll have to excuse me as I go re-hide the harmonica my mother gave my daughter for her birthday (securing her place as the Worst. Grandma. EVER!) and add it to the list of toys that are banned in MY house.

(Jenn also does some fabulous web design works so if you’re in the market definitely check her out, http://designsby.princessjenn.com/)

I am beyond delighted to bring you today’s guest post.  It comes from my sister of another mother (seriously we are freckishly similar) and very dear friend, Nic of My Bottle’s Up.  If you are not familiar with Nic and are not already reading her fabulous blog you are missing out.  I met Nic about a year and a half ago and loved her the minute I finished reading one blog post.  She is witty, and hysterically funny, but also passionate, caring and beautiful.  I could go on for ages.

Before I hand you over to Nic let me just say I can so empathize with what she is going through with her son right now.  Parenting a two year old can be tough.  Show her some love and support.

i just let my 26 month old son scream for over an hour during what should have been his nap time.  yup.  i did.  i turned off the monitor, turned up the volume on my itunes, and i let my son scream… this was of course after i had done the obligatory “is he stuck in between crib rails?” or “does he have shit in his pants?” check.

he was not stuck in between crib rails.  he was standing, handing me his blanket and screaming “ALL DONE.”

he was shitless in his pants.  dry as a bone, in fact.

i picked him up, rocked him for a few minutes, and laid him back down… and he stayed down… for 10 minutes.

then something not of this earth entered my son’s room, proceeded to invade his 25 lb body and take hold like a leech for over an hour.

he sounded like an angry, possessed, demonic i don’t know what…  and i just listened and tried not to listen but still heard him for over an hour.

this week has been a particularly rough one for the magoo.  and yeah, i ranted… cuz i have a blog and occasionally you’ll find that people do that on their blogs.

it’s an outlet.

today, when i endured the wrath of yet another napless afternoon for my son, filled with tantrums, turmoil and total chaos, my outlet was not my blog, but instead, my husband’s voicemail.

i called him.  at work.  he didn’t answer.  and when his message finished and the beep BEEPED, i held my cell phone up to the monitor for 1 minute and 5 seconds.

my husband returned my call just minutes later, to let me know he in deed received my message.

“this sucks,” was a portion of his response.

both he and i are at a loss… our son has developed a habit of doing this scream-until-mom-or-dad-comes-in thing beginning at 6 am (when he used to sleep until 7:30) and then again when he goes down for his afternoon nap.  his nap used to last from 1 pm until 3 pm.

as of now, i’m lucky if i get 45 minutes until the demonic wails begin.

so today, i let him howl… until his voice was hoarse.  i told my husband that i was not getting him out of that crib, come hell or high water.

and i stuck to it.

am i the worst mother on the face of the planet? nah.  at least not yet.

did i make the right decision? hell if i know.  i know it felt right at the time.

in my opinion, the terms “right” and “wrong” are overrated.  what you do for your child may be “right” and work for you one day but not the next.  i guess that’s just the awesomeness that comes with parenting.

what i do know is that this week has been unbelievably challenging with my toddler son.

i also know that with age comes all sorts of changes in behavior, mood, habits, etc…

lastly, i know that those of you reading this and judging me for leaving my son in his room for over an hour to scream will have your turn.

we all do, us parents.

we take turns and endure these challenges in this thing called parenthood.

if you do things another way than i do… awesome.

if you do things similarly to the way i do… awesome.

if you judge me and my parenting according to this post and the experiences i have shared with you so candidly… watch your back, because i will let the wrath of my son loose on you and you will find yourself begging me for forgiveness on hands and knees.

cheers!

nic

While I am knee deep in boxes and other related moving tasks this week I have decided to hand my blog over to some very lovely, very talented ladies who I know you will love as much as I do.

Today I have a very special treat for you, my friend and fellow blogger, Andrea, of The Sweet Life, has agreed to do a guest post for me.  Over at The Sweet Life Andrea shares the stories of her life raising two beautiful daughters on her ranch in Northern California.  I always love reading Andrea’s stories.  Her writing is beautiful and her girls are adorable, what more could you ask for.  I’m so grateful to Andrea for agreeing to share some of her amazing work here with my readers.  Without further ado I hand you over to Andrea, enjoy.

Lately I’ve been lying in bed at night, thinking about universal balance.  You know: karma, yin and yang, give and receive, having your beautiful cake and not being able to eat it, too.

It led me to wonder, when God grants a prayer request, does He also scribble down a little IOU?  It’s funny to think of Him standing there, holding a stack of invoices, but it’s a little scary too – you never know exactly what the cost is, or when it’s due.  I mean, when is your debt really paid?  It’s not like He sends a statement.

Back when we were trying to get pregnant with what turned out to be Blythe, I would take my monthly pregnancy test (or five) (who am I kidding, I mean 10) (ish) and while waiting the requisite 4 minutes, I’d say “Please let it be positive this time.  Please, God, just this once”.  And then it would be negative and I’d start again the next month with the begging.  God was probably tired of hearing from me.

After a year or so, we took a little break and wouldn’t you know, one day a few months later, a burrito sounded damn good and I wolfed it down even though I’ve always thought, my whole life through, that burritos were disgusting, and BAM.  Positive pregnancy test.  No negotiations required.

I begged God or the Universe, or who ever else was listening, to let the baby be in a good spot in my deformed uterus.  Because, otherwise, the chance of miscarriage was something like 85% and who bets on those odds?  Our relief at her good uterine placement was short lived when, at 9 weeks, during one of my many daily bathroom visits, I discovered copious amounts of blood gushing from the worst possible place for a pregnant woman.

Have you ever seen a mother beg for her child’s life?  It’s not pretty.  It involves a lot of blubbering and tears and even snot bubbles, and if you think I might have offered up every thing we possess to the Keeper of the Universe if this child could live, you’d be spot on.  We had to wait through the entire weekend, me on bed rest and continuing my mental begging, before getting to see whether the baby made it.

When I saw not only a little peanut in my uterus but the flashing light that indicated a heart beat, I just knew this baby was going to make it the whole nine yards, and I quit my begging.  My request had been granted and I didn’t want anyone changing their mind based on the fact that I was annoying.

Over the past few months, I picked up my old habit where I left off, asking God and the Universe to let Blythe grow out of her food allergies.  It’s not such a big request, is it?  It’s all I’m asking for, not a fancy new car or world peace or for my adult acne to finally go away, because, really, don’t you think someone in their 30′s should be able to focus on their wrinkles instead?

But then, about a month ago, after I’d gotten all cocky about how I had this thing down pat, what with Blythe going months now without a severe reaction, we got a rude awakening.  She picked up a girl scout cookie her sister accidentally left within her reach.  Not only did she put it in her mouth, she ate the entire thing.

I could blame the girl scouts for putting high fructose corn syrup in their cookies, myself for keeping a stash of them, my husband for finding the stash and sharing with Alison, Alison for leaving the cookie out, Blythe for eating it.  But you know, sometimes things are just inevitable.  No matter how hard you try, sometimes mistakes happen.  You can look back on that one thing, that catalyst, if you will, and regret it or relive it the rest of your life, but you can’t ever change it.

Every day for 5 weeks now, Blythe has been struggling.  One corn-laden cookie knocked her immune system down and now she’s not only hyper-sensitive to anything corn, she developed a NEW allergy, to soy.  Anyone who comes around has to wash their hands and face before touching or kissing her.  My husband has to take a shower and change his clothes before he’s allowed anywhere near her, because she has a reaction from particles he accumulates on his clothes and skin from animal feed and the like.  For Blythe, these allergies went from manageable to out of freaking control.

Being anal retentive and a bit dramatic, I spent a few days thinking, ”WHAT NOW?  We may as well order ourselves a bubble and put her in it”.  I felt like we were up against something I couldn’t see, couldn’t predict, couldn’t fix, all while my baby girl suffered and whimpered her way through her days and nights.

Laying there night after night, thinking about universal balance, though?  It’s what has changed my attitude from one of defeat to one of proactivity.  Right or wrong, looking at this as the debt we owe in exchange for her survival makes things seem, well, not so bad.  I’ll take a sweet, loving, thoughtful, happy little girl who happens to be extremely food allergic over a clump of bloody cells in my toilet, every time.  Every.  Single.  Time.

Oh and God, if you’re listening?  I think you can mark that invoice “PAID”.

Next week will mark a very big change for my little family.  On Wednesday of next week we close on and take possession of our new (to us) house.  To say I am excited doesn’t really do it justice.  I’m over the top excited about this move.  As much as I’m going to miss my lovely little condo I’m definitely looking forward to moving into my new house that has more room, has a huge yard and that we know we are going to love.

Needless to say things will be crazy around here next week.  We’ll be buried in boxes, packing tape, bubble wrap and piles of stuff that needs to get into those boxes before the moving truck arrives next Thursday afternoon.  Not to mention we still have several things on our “To Do” lists that must be done before we move.  I’m stressed out and tired just thinking about all of the things we need to do.  But I know it will all get done and this time next week we’ll be enjoying our new digs.

Since next week is going to be so crazy for me I know I’m not going to have much time for this here little blog of mine so I have a treat for you.  A few of my beautiful and wonderful friends, and fellow bloggers, have graciously agreed to entertain you in my absence.  You are in for such a treat!  I can’t wait to share these wonderful ladies and their brillant writing with all of you.

Hopefully late next week or early next week I’ll be full of tales of our move and pictures of our new house, until then, I hope you enjoy what I have in store for you next week :)

moving-kits-snwk

We are currently buried in “To Do” lists, boxes, paperwork, phone calls and trips back and forth to Home Depot as we try to get ready for the big move next week.  Moving, let me tell you, is for the birds.  Who has time for all the prep work needed to vacate one home and prepare to move into a new one all while parenting a toddler?  I certainly don’t.

I’ve discovered that packing and making phone calls to utility companies is nearly impossible to do with a toddler around.  I tried to get started packing a few boxes this morning only to have Maya take the items out of the box as fast as I could put them in.  I decided that I will leave most of the packing for those afternoon hours when she is peacefully sleeping.  She just wants to help, I know, so I figure if I do need to pack while she is awake I’ll just give her a few boxes to pack up her toys and books and just let her have at it.

Packing with a toddler around is no piece of cake but it seems incredibly easy compared to making the necessary phone calls to the various utility companies to make sure we have lights and a working stove and working air conditioning when we move.

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Yesterday Maya was sitting quietly in her room reading so I decided to take advantage of a few moments of peace and make a few phone calls.  The minute I dialed the phone and someone answered on the other end she decided it would be the perfect time to come find me, which was fine until she decided to have a meltdown because I couldn’t read her a story “RIGHT NOW!!!!”.  I think I need a personal assistant to take of all this stuff for me :)

So, nap time, over the next week or so will no longer be my relaxing “me time”, it is going to be filled with me sitting on the phone with utility companies and busting my butt trying to pack all our stuff up before the movers arrive on Thursday.  Boy does that sound like fun.

Any tips on getting this stuff done with a 2 and a half year old running under foot?  I would love to hear how you veteran moms and dads have done.