Learning about your child’s school day is very important.  Finding out what happened, what homework they have, what might have gone wrong, what might have  gone right are all keys to figuring out how your child is doing at school and what sort of attitude you can expect from them that evening.  Asking the right questions at the right time can make all the difference.  Engaging your child in a dialogue about their day not only makes them feel important and special it also helps make sure you are on top of your child’s education and playing an active role in their school life.

Taking the right approach can make the difference between a real dialogue and a one word answer.  Here are a few tips to help open up the lines of communication and get your child talking about their school day.

  • Set the expectation that you and your child will talk about their school day, everyday.
  • Give them a some time to unwind before starting the dialogue.  This will give them a second to regroup from the school day, unwind and relax a little.  It will also give you a chance to go through their school bag, including any notebooks the teachers may use to tell the parents what has gone on that day and what homework your child has.
  • Be specific when you begin your dialogue with your child.  Ask open-ended questions like “Tell me your favorite thing that happened at school l today” or “Tell me about something new you learned at school today.”
  • Children are usually pretty social beings and love to talk about their friends so ask questions about their friends as a way to keep the dialogue rolling.
  • Go over your child’s bookbag with them.  Discuss what homework they have or what tests/papers or art projects they brought home and the grades they got.
  • Talk about your day as well.  Include any struggles you had to deal with as a way to help your child learn about communicating about their own struggles and that they are not alone, everyone has a bad day sometimes.
  • Listen carefully to your child’s responses to your questions.  They may not be completely open about something that is bothering them at school but you will likely find hints to what is bothering them in their answers to your other questions.

A child who feels like you care about what they did that day, enjoy hearing about what they did at school is more likely to keep talking.  Building the discussion into your daily routine will help your child get used to talking about their school day and encourage them to open up.

When do you talk to your kids about their school day?  What sorts of questions do you ask them to encourage them to keep talking?

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