They grow up so fast.

Last night I weaned Maya from her last nursing session.  She had been down to just nursing before bed for a couple of months now.  It had been part of her bedtime routine for so long (her whole life!) that I was a little scared to stop just in case my perfect little sleeper became a not so perfect sleeper as a result. Luckily I think it will all work out ok :)

Deciding to wean her was not a decision I was able to make easily.  A couple of weeks ago I started to feel like I was ready to be done breastfeeding.  Maya was only nursing for about 10 minutes max before bed but often spent the whole time fidgeting and playing.  It was a nice way for her to wind down for the night but I didn’t feel like she needed it anymore.  When I put her in her crib after nursing her she is wide awake and has been falling asleep on her own at bedtime and naptime for months now.  The hard part about taking the plunge was that I knew she still enjoyed that time at the end of the day, and so did I.  Breastfeeding has always been our quiet time together, our “just the two of us” time.  I’ll miss that.

So, yesterday I put on a regular bra (first time in almost 20 months!) when I got dress in the morning and said “Ok, today is the day.”  I took Maya to the book store and we picked out a new bedtime book.  When the time came I had her kiss the kitties and Daddy goodnight like usual and we went into her bedroom.  She asked to nurse by signing and I said “No, honey.  Mommy’s milk is all gone.  Instead you can have some of this milk (I gave her a small cup of milk) and we are going to read your new story.”  We sat down together in our regular chair and read the story.  She took a couple of sips of the milk but wasn’t all that interested (she isn’t a big milk drinker).  She loved the story.  When I was done reading she asked again to nurse and I explained again that “mommy’s milk” was all gone, she was ok with that.  I gave her an extra big hug and kiss and laid her down in her crib.  She didn’t cry at all, she just talked to her stuffed animals for a few minutes and then fell right to sleep.  However, I almost cried.  I’m sure if my husband hadn’t been sitting in the other room I might have.  I was definitely ready to be done, but at the same time it sort of felt like it officially made her no longer a baby.  Now, I know that we still might have a few rough nights ahead where she won’t be quite so understanding, but I’m thankful for an easy first night and so proud of her.

I am so proud of myself for making it 19 months (almost 20 actually).  When I was pregnant I knew I wanted to nurse at least 12 months and then wean slowly from there.  That is exactly what I did.  After a little bit of a rough start we both got the hang of it and it was a wonderful experience.  My breastfeeding experience wasn’t without it’s challenges, including a clogged milk duct I could have done without, but it was a wonderful experience.

My hope with sharing my own breastfeeding stories here is that I will inspire women who can breastfeed to give it a try.  I hope that by reading my story and learning from my experiences someone is able to get over a breastfeeding hurdle and stick with it.

Here’s to 19 months (+) of successful breastfeeding.

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