If you have a toddler you probably know all about bedtime battles.  It seems to come with the territory.  Every toddler just needs to go through a stage of fighting sleep and battling over bedtime.  I have a bit to go before my daughter is a toddler but I remember what my little brothers were like as toddlers.  It was like fighting tooth and nail to get them to stay in bed and go to sleep.  You could see the exhaustion in their eyes and yet they still felt the need to fight it.

So why do toddlers fight bedtime?  Toddlers are growing more and more independent every day and often uses bedtime to assert that independence.  Your child is at the point in his life where he needs to determine what the boundaries are and just how far he can push them.  Not only is your child trying to assert her independence during these bedtime battles but fear of being alone can also be a common cause.  It may take a while to figure out what the cause of your child’s bedtime troubles are, but consistency is always the key to overcoming them.

Here are a few tips for making those bedtime battles a little easier to overcome.

• Set a bedtime routine and stick to it.  If you haven’t already established a bedtime routine now is the time to do so.  Your child is more likely to recognize that it is bedtime and begin to wind down if you go through the same steps every night.  For example: play quietly for a little while, brush teeth and put on pjs, read a story, then lights out.
• If you think your child may be afraid to be alone at night talk to your child about their fears.  Sometimes they just need to get it off their chest, and you can hopefully dispel any fears so bedtime is not so frightening.
• If your child needs you in the room to fall asleep begin to wean her slowly.  Start out by staying only a few minutes and then telling her you will be back to check on her in 5 minutes.  Eventually she will get used to falling asleep on her own and you won’t need to stay in the room with her while she fall asleep.
• If you child continuously gets out of bed keep putting him back in his room.  Be firm and patient.  Don’t carry on a conversation with him, just say it is bedtime and put him back in his bed.  Eventually he’ll get the hint and will stop getting up.
• Since your child is trying to assert her independence try to give her another way to assert it.  When it is time for a bedtime story let her pick the book.  Give her a few choices and let her pick.  If she has a bedtime snack do the same thing.  She will enjoy the chance to make a decision for herself and will be less likely to try to assert her independence at bedtime.

Remember that consistency is key.  It may take a few days or even weeks to get over the bedtime battles but eventually it will happen.  Be sure that both you and your partner are on board for the way you will handle bedtime battles.  If someone will be taking care of your toddler during bedtime make sure they know the bedtime routine and are willing to follow that routine.  If you have questions or concerns about your child be sure to discuss those with your pediatrician.