On the Today Show this morning they ran a segment on when a child is ready for certain milestones of teenage life such as going to their first boy girl party, getting a cell phone, and going to mall by themselves. The segment, entitled, Your Child’s First: Is he or she ready? Are you?, addressed the concerns many parents having about letting go and allowing their child to become a little more independent.

The guest was a psychologist and she provided some insight into this very unnerving topic for any parent of pre-teens and teenagers. Here are a few the areas they addressed and the suggestions made in case you didn’t get a chance to see the show.

Letting your child go to the mall or movies without you: there was no age recommendation made for this one. She did say it was most common for this request to start coming up when the child is about 12 or 13 years old. The psychologist recommended looking at the child, their maturity, their history of reliability, and whether the child would be in a group and who was in that group.

Letting you child attend their first boy/girl party: this typically becomes an issue when your child hits their teenage years. Letting your 8 year old attend a co-ed birthday party is a whole lot different than letting your 16 year old attend a co-ed party. Again, the rule should be to look at the child and the situation. The decision will ultimate come down to your responsible your child is, if there will be a parental chaperon at the party, and who else will be there. This will like be hard one to say yes to!!!

Giving your child a cell phone: this has become a very different question lately. Many children have cell phones at very young ages. The key to this question for a lot of parents comes down to safety and wanting to be able to reach your child at any time. Whenever you allow your child to have a cell phone the key will be laying down the right ground rules and being able to rely on your child to obey them.

Allowing your child to drive: most teenagers get their driver’s license when they about 16 years old, but that doesn’t mean you have to let them drive all the time. Some things to consider are whether they will be allowed to have other kids in the car with them, if they will be allowed to drive at night, and how often they can drive.

The answer to these and many more topics that come up as your child approaches and enters their teenage years boils down to the maturity and responsibility of your child as well as how ready you are to let go a little.

If you have teenagers how did you approach these difficult situations? When did you allow your child to drive, have cell phone, or go to the mall by themselves?