It is that part of parenting that everyone is afraid of, getting through the teenage years. We all remember what it was like to be a teenager. We know about all the challenges that face a teenager, like peer pressure, drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, getting into college, the SATs. Too many things to mention really. So what is a parent of a teenager to do?

I have heard it said a thousand times, communication is key when raising a teenager. It might seem like the hardest thing when faced with a 15 year old girl who has no desire to talk to you, or a 16 year old boy who doesn’t seem to speak to anyone anymore, but it is, I hear, the best approach.

When I was growing up my family was big on open communication. My parents wanted me to feel comfortable telling them about anything, even if it was bad. Now, like any other teenager I certainly didn’t feel comfortable telling them everything, that’s what my friends were for, but I knew that if I needed their help or advice I could always go to them. They also made sure I was armed with the knowledge to make the right decisions for myself.

Teenagers are in a very unusual place in their lives, I think it is helpful for parents to remember that fact (we were all that age once!!). They no longer feel like little kids but they aren’t yet adults. Teenagers face a lot of pressure, from friends, parents, teachers, and so on. What parents can do is help them get through these years by being there for them and keeping the lines of communication open.

• Talk to you child often. Ask them questions about who their friends are, what they are doing and where they are going. You might not get answers from them all the time (truthful ones anyway), but for the most part it will keep you informed and will let them know that you care about them.

• Provide them with information about things like drugs, drinking, sex, and smoking so that when they are faced by the inevitable peer pressure to try these things they will be able to make informed decisions. Make sure they know they can always talk to you about this stuff.

• Trust your child to make good decisions. Don’t just assume that they are destined to make poor choices simply because they are teenagers. They may not always make the right decisions, but they will at least try (most of the time!).

• If your child seems to be in trouble talk to them about what is going on, and enlist the help of your child’s pediatrician or school counselor. It is always easier to work through problems together.

Raising teenagers has always been a challenge for parents, and it will continue to be a challenge. Remember to keep the lines of communication open, trust your child, and remember what it was like to be their age. Talk to their pediatrician, school counselor, or another health professional if you have specific questions about your teenager, or need help facing a difficult situation.

Are you currently raising a teenager, or have you made it through the teenage years already? What did you find worked the best for you? What advice do you have for other parents facing the challenge?