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What’s in a name? There can be a lot in a name. A name usually has an individual meaning. For example, my name, Lisa, means consecrated to God. A name also often reflects the time we were born, like what names were popular or common. It can also reflect our parent’s personality, or love for a particular family member (if they pass on a family name).
Naming our baby is one of the first times we are given the opportunity to completely impact our child’s life. The name you and your partner choose for your little bundle of joy will be with them for the rest of their lives. Promise that you will remember that as you search for a name for your child. The name you pick will be with them forever!!
For each couple the approach will be different. For many couples a family name will rise to the top of the list, be it grandma’s name, or dad’s name, or some name that has been in the family for generations. For other’s it is all about picking a name that is popular at the time. Still others will delve deep into the baby name books in search of that unique name that shows their originality.
No matter what category you find yourself in be sure to take the time to think about the name you have chosen to be sure it is a good match and something you can live with. Try to imagine what it will be like to call out your child’s name millions of times over the next 18 years.
On the Baby Name Wizard Blog there is an article that discusses a new trend when it comes to picking baby names. We seem to be leaning towards naming our children with the most original name we can think of, even if it has no meaning, and is impossible to spell, just for the sake of being more original than everyone else. The trend seems to have started in the celebrity world where celebrities are giving their children such names as Pilot Inspektor, Moxie Crimefighter, and Diva Muffin. What were they thinking?
When we sit down to choose a name for our baby the one thing we should really keep in mind is that we don’t want to give them a name that is going to send them running to the social security office on their 18th birthday to change it. A name can be original without being crazy.
Even with all the pressure naming your child can be a lot of fun. While you sit around waiting for your baby to finally make an appearance, have fun searching through the baby name books for that one perfect name.
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Top Ten Baby Names of 2005 According to the Social Security Administration |
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| Girls | Boys |
| Emily | Jacob |
| Emma | Michael |
| Madison | Joshua |
| Abigail | Matthew |
| Olivia | Ethan |
| Isabella | Andrew |
| Hannah | Daniel |
| Samantha | Anthony |
| Ava | Christopher |
| Ashley | Joseph |
For many mothers, and often for dad too, one of the biggest concerns they face is the prospect of returning to work after the baby is born. More than 50% of mothers work outside the home, so that means a good many moms are consumed by this concern. They have to worry about how much time they will get off, if they will receive any pay during this time, and what arrangements they will have to make for the baby once they return to work.
Of course there is “maternity leave”, not actually officially referred to as maternity leave here in the United States, instead known as the Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA). Unfortunately, FMLA offers little time for a mother to be at home with her baby before returning to work, just a mere 12 weeks. In the grand scheme of things 12 weeks is really just a blink of an eye in your child’s life. Also, FMLA leave is not paid, so the time spent home with the baby is often even shorter for a lot of women who depend on their income to get the bills paid. Some companies do offer benefits under their short-term disability policies for maternity leave, which would allow a woman to stay home for about 6-8 weeks (depending on company policy) with a reduced pay, typically two thirds of your regular pay. What this means is that many mothers are being forced to return to work and place their tiny infant in the care of someone else when the baby is barely two months old.
As a comparison here are some of the maternity leave policies offered by other industrialized nations. As would be expected there are pretty big differences among the list, but you will note that more than half of the countries on the list mandate maternity leaves of 6 months or more.
- Sweden – 96 weeks*
- Australia – 52 weeks*
- Canada – 52 weeks*
- Denmark – 50 weeks
- Italy – 47 weeks*
- Finland – 44 weeks
- Norway – 42 weeks*
- United Kingdom – 40 weeks*
- Czech Republic – 28*
- Russia – 20 weeks*
- Brazil – 17 weeks*
- France – 16 weeks
- Greece – 15 weeks*
- Germany – 14 weeks
- United States – 12 weeks
- Hong Kong – 10 weeks
(* also offer some sort of income compensation through the government)
As you can see the policy here pales in comparison to those offered to women in other comparable countries. A couple of key examples would be what is offered in Canada, our neighbor, and the UK our “closest ally”. It begs the question, why is our leave here not longer? Likely because our government doesn’t think there is a large demand for a longer maternity leave, and business lobbyist are fighting stronger on the other side of the argument.
Not every woman necessarily wants to stay home full time with her baby for longer than the 12 weeks offered here, some even return to work much sooner. But the idea is that we should have the opportunity to stay home longer if we so choose and have our position protected. Likely we are not going to see a change as drastic as getting 52 weeks of maternity leave, but any little bit can make a difference. If you want to see our system here changed you have to speak up, write to your state representatives, and tell them about the changes you would like to see. Unless there is a loud voice being heard by our government nothing is going to change.
That being said (I’ll step down off my soapbox now) let’s move on to what you need to discuss with your employer, and what details you will need to figure out. It is important to talk to your employer early in your pregnancy to find out what the company policy is so you have plenty of time to ask questions and complete any necessary paperwork.
- Find out if any time is available with pay. If so how long, and at what percentage of your current pay.
- If no paid time is available find out what you need to do to be eligible for FMLA. You can discuss this with your employer and also by visiting the the US Department of Labor website.
- Find out if your company allows any time off in addition to the 12 weeks mandated by FMLA, and what you need to do to be eligible. There may be some additional requirements.
- Find out if it is possible to ease back into work, for example with shortened work weeks, part-time, or job sharing.
By getting this discussion out of the way early you are less likely to be surprised by your company’s policy, and you will have ample time to plan your time off. It is important that your employer be aware of the time you intend to take off well ahead of time so you can both prepare for your departure.
Your time home with the baby will fly by. Enjoy every minute you spend together, and realize that even though you won’t be spending all your time with your little one once you return to work, you will still be the most important caregiver in their life.
It appears that the mommy wars are still raging, especially on the very controversial issue of breastfeeding in public. As many of you may have recently heard, on the August cover of babytalk magazine a woman breastfeeding her child is featured. You can see part of a breast, not really that much of it if you ask me, and the baby’s face. Well, this cover caused quite a bit of a stir among readers of the magazine, many news sites have featured articles regarding the negative response the magazine received, including this article featured on MSNBC. The comments from readers have ranged from absolute disgust that the magazine would even consider placing such a picture on their cover to those who fear their children or husbands might see the breast on the cover as sexual.
Personally, I think the negative response is ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with a magazine about baby care featuring a breastfeeding scene on the cover of their magazine. Breastfeeding is a very natural part of parenting, and shouldn’t offend anyone. I can understand why some people are uncomfortable when they see a woman breastfeeding her child in public, it is after all a pretty new occurrence here in the United States, and people just aren’t that comfortable to seeing a breast under any circumstance. What I don’t understand is why people, including mothers who have breastfed their own children, would become so outraged by it.
Breastfeeding has been determined through a great deal of medical research to be the best source of nutrition for a baby. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) advocates exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life, followed by breastfeeding supplemented with the introduction of solid foods through the child’s first birthday, and then from there breastfeeding as long as mutually desired by both mother and child. They also support mothers and their choice to breastfeed in public. Which hopefully will help change people’s views on breastfeeding in public and reduce the negative backlash breastfeeding moms face.
When you consider how often a baby needs to nurse, every two to three hours, it only makes sense that a woman may find the need to breastfeed in public should she be out with the baby at a store, restaurant, or even the park when it’s feeding time. Most, if not all women seem to be very discreet when feeding their baby in public, so I ask you, what’s the big deal?
What is a pre-conception check up you might ask…Well a pre-conception check up is a consultation with your doctor about your plan to become pregnant and what you need to do to help prepare your body for an impending pregnancy. This type of thing would have been unheard of a generation ago. Most women wouldn’t have scheduled an appointment to see the doctor until pregnancy was confirmed by a home pregnancy test, or at least expected due to a missed period or two. And that may remain true for some women today, but more and more woman are beginning to understand the importance of being healthy before you become pregnant, and giving your child the best chance from the very beginning.
Times have changed since our parents were born, and even since we were born. Women today are focusing more on planning pregnancies into their lives instead of just letting nature take its course. And since more is known about the affects our lifestyle can have on the baby very early on in the pregnancy more women want to do whatever they can to ensure a healthy pregnancy from the get go. Women today are making appointments with their OB/GYN to discuss what they should do to prepare their bodies for pregnancy, getting physicals to make sure they are in tip top shape and don’t have any health issues that need to be addressed prior to conception.
I actually just had a pre-conception appointment with my OB/GYN. It wasn’t a hugely involved ordeal since he has been my doctor for several years now and knows my background fairly well, but it was very helpful. We discussed many topics including how my health prior to conception and in the early weeks of pregnancy can have a huge impact on the developing fetus. The early weeks and months of pregnancy are some of the most important when it comes to development so it is important to start out as healthy as you can.
When you visit with your doctor for your pre-conception check up here are some important things you want to make sure to discuss.
- Discuss any pre-existing health problems you have and what impact those may have on your pregnancy or ability to get pregnant. Your doctor will advise you as to what needs to be addressed before you start trying to conceive, and what health issues may impact your fertility.
- Discuss what current medications you are taking, either prescription or over the counter and determine what changes need to be made prior to conception and during pregnancy.
- Discuss your doctor’s recommendation for when you should begin taking a prenatal vitamin. Some caregivers will suggest you begin taking a prenatal vitamin as soon as you start trying to conceive since studies have shown the importance of folic acid to a developing embryo in the first weeks of pregnancy. A prenatal vitamin contains the recommended dose of folic acid, and other key vitamins and minerals necessary for fetal development.
- Discuss your use of alcohol, tobacco, illicit drugs, etc. Your doctor will want you to stop consuming all of them and will be able to help you quit if you are unable to do so on your own. Alcohol, tobacco, and illicit drugs can all damage a fetus during develop so quitting before you become pregnant is very important.
- Your doctor will discuss your medical, gynecological, and family history to determine if there is anything in your past that may hinder your ability to conceive or impact the pregnancy once you do conceive. It is important to be perfectly honest with your doctor.
- Ask you doctor for recommendations regarding fitness and nutrition both while you are trying to conceive and once you become pregnant. Discuss any concerns you have regarding your current diet and exercise regiment.
A pre-pregnancy check up is a great way to establish rapport with your caregiver prior to conception. It will also give you a good idea if the two of you are on the same page philosophically about pregnancy and conception. If you identify any potential issues you will have a chance to hash those out, or change providers before you become pregnant.
It is always easier to maintain a healthy lifestyle than it is to begin one. By getting a head start on healthy eating and exercise, and dealing with any chronic health issues before you become pregnant you will have a much better chance of having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.
So it turns out that breastfeeding isn’t all that easy, in fact some would tell you it’s even down right hard. There is a great misconception out there that this very natural part of motherhood comes easily to both mother and child. Many women believe the baby comes out with a natural instinct that makes them latch on correctly the first try and know exactly what to do, and that the experience for the mother will be pleasant and calming. Some how the message that breastfeeding isn’t really that easy and requires practice doesn’t get passed on from woman to woman.
We have all heard that breastfeeding is the healthiest way to raise your child. Women are made to believe that they are putting their child at risk if they don’t breastfeed. The stress created by our fear driven society alone is enough to make the best among us a little anxious our first few tries, no wonder we don’t always get it right in the beginning. Let alone the fact that when we start out we really have no idea what we are doing.
Armed with the knowledge that breastfeeding may not be so easy puts you at a bit of an advantage. By recognizing it as a challenge you can also recognize the need for a little education on the matter. Here are a few things you can do to prepare yourself to become the ultimate breast-feeder, or at least fairly adequate at it.
Be prepared. It seems to be the motto for almost everything, but also a little easier said than done. Be prepared for the fact that it might take you a few days or even weeks to get the hang of it. Educate yourself on all the various aspects of breastfeeding. Things are always a little easier if you have some idea ahead of time what to do and what to expect. Talk to your caregiver about your fears and questions, remember they do this for a living and can be great resources. Take a breastfeeding class. They are offered at most hospital and birthing centers these days, and from what I understand offer a wealth of information for both new and experienced moms. If you can’t find a class, or don’t know where to look your caregiver should be able to point you in the right direction.
Most hospitals offer breastfeeding advice once the baby is born as well. A nurse or lactation specialist is usually available to assist new moms in learning the best techniques for holding the baby during feedings, how to get the baby to latch on correctly, how to recognize when the baby is finished eating, and all that good stuff. Be sure to have them evaluate your technique again right before you leave the hospital to make sure you are on the right track.
Another thing we need to be prepared for is the discomfort that inevitably comes along with having a baby sucking on your nipples every few hours. Understandably there will be some pain and discomfort. Many women find their nipples become painful, raw, and chapped, although these symtoms are common they can also be a sign that the baby is not latching on correctly. Some recommended at-home treatments for these common ailments are to expose your breasts to air after a feeding, or to apply lanolin to the area. Of course, as with anything else if you are worried about the pain and discomfort, or experience any unusual symptoms like severe pain or pain that lasts through the entire feeding contact your doctor immediately.
Breastfeeding can be a wonderful thing once you get the hang of it. It is the ultimate source of nutrition for your baby and a great money saver since you don’t have to fork out all that money for baby formula. Take the time to educate yourself before the baby arrives, and don’t be afraid to ask questions once he or she does arrive. While you are in the hospital the first couple of days after birth is the best time to figure out if you are breastfeeding correctly and to get some assistance from the professionals.
If you run into problems once you are home with the baby you can always call your doctor’s office for advice, contact a lactation specialist, or a La Leche League volunteer (they will often make house calls). Be sure to gather the necessary contact information for your support network prior to the arrival of the baby so you will have it handy if you run in to problems once you are home from the hospital. Remember that it’s ok to admit you don’t know what you are doing and to ask for help.
Of course, it is important to recognize that breastfeeding it not for everyone. There are many contributing factors surrounding the decision of whether to breastfeed or not, some within our control and some not. If you have questions about your options if you cannot or choose not to breastfeed, and what alternatives to breastfeeding are best for the baby ask your caregiver, or your child’s pediatrician for more information.
The bottom line is that knowledge is power. Take the time to educate yourself before the baby arrives so you will be better able to successfully tackle the challenge of breastfeeding once your little one gets here. And remember, practice makes perfect so don’t give up.